


Jericho is God

by technin



Series: Detroit: Become Human [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Connor, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Childhood Trauma, Clueless Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Connor & North (Detroit: Become Human) Friendship, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor is A Dumbass, Connor is self-conscious, Dorks in Love, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Family Issues, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealous Connor, M/M, Markus & North (Detroit: Become Human) Friendship, Mutual Pining, North is Done with the gays stupidity, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Poor Connor, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Pregnancy, Simon and North are Parents, Simon/Markus aren't really a thing; Connor's fucking stupid, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smitten Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Smitten Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Unnecessary Connor-angst, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, chat fic, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2019-10-13 18:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 38
Words: 20,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technin/pseuds/technin
Summary: North: Connor, lemme introduce our Lord and Savior, Markus.North: The Heart of Jericho, Simon.North: and Josh.





	1. Gay Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: I mean, you let a lot of people sit on you-
> 
> bench: .
> 
> weast: WOW EXPOSED.

**_Markus_  ** _has added **North, Simon** and  **Josh** to the chat._

 **_Markus_ ** _has named the chat **Jericho is God**._

North: seems valid to me.

North: it's a pretty empty chat tho.

Markus: Don't worry, we'll convert more people.

North: c o n v e r t ?

North: tf is this? a cult?

Simon: many people seem to think so.

Josh: are we the KKK?

Josh: I'd prefer not.

North: isn't that ironic tho?

Simon: North, whatever comment you're gonna make, I'mma have to ask you to not.

Markus: Yeah, I'mma have to agree with Simon.

North: you always agree with Simon.

Markus: That's because Simon is the voice of reason.

Josh: and I'm not?

Markus: Josh, both of us are too pacifistic to do anything, North is too violent. Simon is the only one in the middle.

Josh: understandable.

North: being violent isn't bad.

Simon: To a certain extent.

North: hey, people got their freedom from violence.

Markus: You can blame England for that.

North: and Germany?

Markus: We don't talk about Germany.

Markus: German is a very violent language.

North: just my type.

Josh: that surprises no one.

North: let me listen to my music in peace 

Markus: no one's disrupting you.

North: yeah, yeah,

North: so

North: in my literature, my teacher was talking about gays and stuff, and this dude beside me goes

North: "the only person that's gayer than me is my brother, and I'm pretty fucking gay".

North: if that isn't a fucking mood, I don't know what is.

Simon: Coming out 2k19

Markus: seems pretty valid to me.

Josh: what did the teacher say?

North: he was like, "where's the surprise in that?"

North: that's true friendship right there.

Simon: who do you have for literature?

North: Fowler.

North: turns out he's also the law enforcement teacher.

Markus: Oh, I know him,

Markus: He asked me if I wanted to become a forensic sketch artist 

Simon:, that's be cool.

Josh: Sounds cooler than becoming a politician 

Markus: I never said I wanted to be a politician 

North: oh, I'mma get his number.

Markus: Who's?

North: the gay brothers.

Simon: North doesn't know their names.

North: brb, gotta ask him.

North: Not hard to find, he's tall as hell.

Simon: taller than Markus?

North: taller than Markus.

Markus: Wow, I feel short.

Simon: ???¿?

Simon: how do you think??

Simon: I feel??

 **_North_ ** _has added **Conan** to  **Jericho is God.**_

North: welcome fellow gay.

Conan: You're standing right in front of me, is there a need to text?

North: Yes.

North: obviously I'm west.

North: Markus is RoboJesus.

North: Simon is Fred Jones.

North: and Josh is the pacifist.

Markus: I'm a pacifist.

North: you'll punch someone if needed to.

Markus: okay? You would too?

North: exactly 

Conan: It's nice to meet you three.

Simon: c:

North: wheres your gay brother?

Conan: That I'm unsure of.

Conan: I lost him.

North: wat.

Josh: you lost your brother??

Conan: Connor always runs off into something.

Conan: He's the trouble child.

Conan: Even though he's slightly older than me.

North: Sounds fun.

Conan: Not when you have to help him when he gets shot.

Simon: I'm very concerned.

Conan: Detectives runs in the family 

Markus: You and Connor are going to be detectives?

Conan: Yes.

Conan: It was Connor's dream when he was younger, I simply followed to keep him from getting himself killed.

North: True love right there.

Conan: I'll probably bump into him in a bit.

Conan: if not, look for someone who looks like me but more like a puppy.

North: Very interested 

North: Find Connor!

Markus: I don't have class today tho.

North: FIND CONNOR.

Josh: no classes 

North: F I N D

North: C O N N O R

Conan: Found him.

North: mission accomplished. 

Conan: I must warn you though, people seem to get too caught up in his appearance.

North: WOW, HOT DETECTIVE.

Simon: wait what?

North: Conan, who's the attractive one?

Conan: From a lot of people's opinion, Connor is.

North: I mean, you look like you could snap someone in half.

North: not to mention your eyes are like, steel blue.

Conan: Connor perhaps, is more.. "terrifying" than me.

North: oh god.

Markus: confusion.

North: I'm adding him.

Conan: Another warning.

Conan: My brother is..

Conan: Shy, and a hermit as most could call him.

Conan: and timid.

North: he's a sweetheart.

Conan: Right.

 **_North_ ** _has added **Connor** to  **Jericho is God.**_

_**North** has set **Connor** 's name to **hot detective.**_

hot detective: Oh.

North: it's your new name, cherish it.

hot detective: Alright.

North: Connor, lemme introduce you to our Lord and savior, Markus.

Markus: Hey.

North: The heart of Jericho, Simon.

Simon: Hi hi, welcome to Jericho!

North: and Josh.

Josh: oh, so they get nice titles, while I'm just Josh.

North: yes.

hot detective: Lmao.

North: people, this is hot detective Connor.

hot detective: still unsure about the name.

North: and his scary brother Conan.

Conan: Hello 

hot detective: scary as a dog.

Conan: that's you.

hot detective: shush.

 **_North_ ** _has set her name to_ **_weast._ **

**_weast_ ** _has set_ **_Markus's_ ** _name to_ **_lord and savior._ **

**_weast_ ** _has set_ **_Simon's_ ** _name to_ **_heart of jericho._ **

**_weast_ ** _has set_ **_Josh's_ ** _name to_ **_just Josh._ **

_**hot detective** has set **Conan's** name to **bench.**_

bench: Brother, I must ask why.

hot detective: I mean, you let a lot of people sit on you-

bench: .

weast: WOW EXPOSED.

lord and savior: damn.

just Josh: I wasn't expecting that.

hot detective: I feel threatened.

bench: I have nothing discriminating to say back.

weast: damn, I wanted to see if hot detective is actually hot.

bench: He's an interesting person. Very eccentric.

hot detective: Yeah,

hot detective: but that's a story for another time.

weast: damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all should tell me if this au is ok.
> 
> And I low-key didn't know what the fuck to write lmao
> 
> Kinda have writer's block.
> 
> And I'm struggling with characters since I know how to right the actual characters, I can't write au characters lmao.  
> Especially a Connor that always jokes around.
> 
> When push comes to shove, just write Bryan lmao.  
> Nah not really 
> 
> Chapter 2 will come out soon.


	2. Fucking Twins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: conan sit next to me.
> 
> hot detective: Connor.
> 
> weast: connor*

just Josh: remind me why we're friends again?

weast: because we need someone to hold us all together.

just Josh: what about Simon.

heart of jericho: I can't handle North and Markus.

just Josh: very understandable.

weast: bro, I just realized I have class with Connor, how could I not notice someone abnormally hot?

lord and savior: That's because you're always grouchy and stare at your phone.

just Josh: what class do you have with him?

weast: turns out I have like, chem or whatever with him.

bench: Are you sure you have the right one?

weast: isn't Connor the one with blue eyes?

hot detective: I have brown eyes.

weast: wait-

hot detective: I don't have any chem classes.

heart of jericho: Oh, North..

lord and savior: Lmao

weast: wait, how did I find Conan then???

bench: You came up to me saying that we have literature together, I was going to correct you, but then you asked about my brother being gayer than me and told me you were adding me to the "group chat for gays."

hot detective: I said that Conan is gayer than me.

weast: bRO WHAY THE FUCK

just Josh: Wow, lmao

weast: YOU TWO ARE TOO SIMILAR

bench: Not exactly.

hot detective: if you think that me and that stick are the same you have issues.

bench: stick?? You're the stick??

hot detective: I can flip you.

bench: I can flip myself too.

hot detective: wait what

heart of jericho: Okay, we have to meet you two.

lord and savior: I agree.

just Josh: I want to see how similar those two are.

bench: We're twins.

hot detective: ^^

hot detective: but we aren't too similar

hot detective: Conan is taller, his eyes are like, steel and he looks angry all the time.

bench: Connor is short, he has brown eyes and he looks like a puppy.

hot detective: I'm not short.

bench: compared to me, yes you are.

hot detective: ITS LIKE, A FOUR INCH DIFFERENCE

bench: Short.

hot detective: I will clock you

bench: Wouldn't be the first time.

bench: you're shorter than Hank too.

hot detective: BEING 6"1 ISNT SHORT.

lord and savior: I'm 6"3.

bench: Exactly, you're short.

hot detective: I'm telling Hank you're bullying me.

bench: I'll tell Hank about that one video you made when you were a teenager.

hot detective: wait, what video?

bench: The one about you and a hooker.

hot detective: NO

hot detective: YOU SAID YOU DELETED THAT.

bench: I say a lot of things.

weast: lmfao 

heart of jericho: a hooker??

just Josh: we don't need to see any pornos thx

bench: Oh, it wasn't a sex tape, it was worse.

hot detective: STOP TALKING ABOIT IT

weast: I WANT TO SEE THIS

lord and savior: I'm interested

hot detective: NO.

hot detective: CONAN PLEASE SPARE ME

bench: Alright.

weast: damn, you're no fun lmao

heart of jericho: I'm slightly concerned about it?

bench: It's nothing discriminating.

bench: He was drinking a bit and the next day decided to act like an idiot even though he had a 4.8 GPA at the time.

just Josh: a 4.8???

weast: how fucking smart are you Connor??

hot detective: Not too smart.

bench: His grades don't match up to his mind outside of school.

bench: he almost got hit by a car the other day.

hot detective: he didn't fucking stop driving okay?? 

bench: You stopped.

hot detective: I wanted to see if he was gonna slam on the breaks.

bench: Which obviously didn't happen.

hot detective: thanks.

bench: I told Hank that I was gonna keep you alive 

weast: who's Hank?

bench: father.

lord and savior: you call your dad by his name?

heart of jericho: You did for a while 

lord and savior: I'm adopted that's why.

bench: As were we.

hot detective: yeye

weast: okay, so, remind me who I have literature with

hot detective: Me.

weast: and I have chem with conan?

bench: That would be correct.

weast: I'm going to mix you two up for a while 

hot detective: lol, it's fine. 

bench: People tend to do that in the beginning.

just Josh: only in the beginning?

bench: Many people prefer Connor because he is the "hot twin"

weast: tf you two have the same face 

hot detective: I'm more round faced 

weast: do you think I'll be able to tell the difference.

hot detective: um? yes?

weast: bitch, you're asking for too much.

bench: Many people confessed their attraction to Connor.

heart of jericho: Did he accept any?

bench: Connor, would you like to answer?

hot detective: not particularly.

bench: He made it very clear that he was gay.

hot detective: I like girls too 

bench: No you don't.

hot detective: I think Chloe is pretty 

bench: Would you have intercourse with her?

hot detective: eh...

bench: Exactly.

hot detective: lmao, stop exposing.

bench: I am simply pointing out the obvious.

hot detective: exactly.

weast: conan sit next to me.

hot detective: Connor.

weast: connor*

heart of jericho: lol

weast: I fucking hate twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all must know what the video is lmao


	3. He Got His Brother's Bacc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: lmao what happened??
> 
> bench: Connor got into a fight.

heart of jericho: Why was everyone crowded around the English department?

lord and savior: They were?

weast: I think I have an idea.

**_bench has logged on._ **

bench: That would be my idiot of a brother.

weast: lmao what happened??

bench: Connor got into a fight.

heart of jericho: A fight? With who?

bench: Gavin Reed.

lord and savior: Why?

bench: Connor said that Gavin kept pushing himself onto a girl.

weast: Connor will fight for your honor.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: Conan, stick up for me pls

bench: Already on it.

hot detective: thx

weast: what happened???

hot detective: Reed kept pushing himself onto Chloe even though she kept saying to leave her alone.

hot detective: I intervened telling him to leave him alone

hot detective: swears were said and I punched him.

lord and savior: Damn.

weast: how hard?

hot detective: He fell onto the floor and couldn't walk straight.

weast: damn connie.

bench: Someone called me saying "Conan, your idiot of a brother is fighting Gavin again."

weast: AGAIN?

bench: So I went over there to see three teachers holding Connor back

hot detective: I have a very good reason on why I wanted to knock his face in a second time.

bench: And why's that?

hot detective: Gavin was talking about you..

bench: he was?

hot detective: he asked me if I was just as slutty as my brother

hot detective: so I tried fighting him again.

weast: Connor will literally defend your honor.

bench: Was it worth it?

hot detective: Fuck yes.

bench: You swore, so, I take it that you're serious.

hot detective: Only I can insult you.

bench: yeah, but you have a busted lip.

hot detective: eh, he got my point.

weast: he protecc 

weast: he attacc

weast: but most importantly, he got his brothers bacc

hot detective: it is an older brother's job to protect his younger brother.

hot detective: shit

hot detective: Conan help my nose is bleeding.

bench: and it's a younger brothers job to clean up his brothers mess.

**_bench has logged off._ **

hot detective: thx love you

lord and savior: I wish I had a brother.

weast: you have Leo.

lord and savior: Leo is an ass.

heart of jericho: Connor, you're the oldest twin?

hot detective: Yeah.

weast: would you fight Gavin again

hot detective: I've been fighting Gavin since highschool 

weast: did you win

hot detective: Everytime.

weast: sounds weak.

hot detective: uh oh.

hot detective: Hank's here.

weast: rip Connor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished all my work earlier and had nothing to do in class, so I write, lol.


	4. Hot Detective's (not) Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: smh Martin Luther didn't die for this.
> 
> lord and savior: He kind of did 
> 
> weast: can you shut the fuck up

weast: bro

weast: earlier I had to go to the art department for papers and I saw a pencil sharpener that said "regular pencils only" and an ass sharpener that said colored.

weast: smh Martin Luther didn't die for this.

lord and savior: He kind of did.

weast: can you shut the fuck up

weast: connor stop lurking

weast: I see you looking at these messages 

lord and savior: Do you two sit next to each other?

weast: yeah.

weast: connor, you should totally ask for Gavin's number.

weast: lMAO CONNOR CHOKED.

hot detective: Disgusting.

hot detective: I can't lower my standards that much.

weast: FUCKING RIP

lord and savior: Are you two, like, best friends now?

hot detective: yes.

weast: ^^^

weast: Connor, see that kid in the front

hot detective: they're many kids.

weast: blond one.

hot detective: middle?

weast: yeah

hot detective: What about him?

weast: ask for his number.

hot detective: What, why?

weast: I want my son to be happy.

hot detective: I am happy.

hot detective: wait, son?

weast: I'm your mom.

hot detective: I'd rather you.. not.

weast: I obviously can't live up to being your mother, bit still.

hot detective: right..

hot detective: Um, sure I guess.

weast: wait, really

weast: oh shit he's actually doing ir

lord and savior: aren't you in the middle of class?

weast: nah, we're studying and stuff.

weast: I SEE YOU CONNIE

lord and savior: did he get the number?

weast: YES

lord and savior: Oooo

lord and savior: Connor, I can help with your date

weast: NO I WILL

lord and savior: Bitch, do you want to go.

weast: YES

weast: oh shit

weast: BRO

weast: SOME CHICK WAS LIKE, "CONNOR, DON'T YOU WANT MY NUMBER INSTEAD OF HIS? I MEAN, HE'S GAY AND ALL.."

weast: CONNOR LOOKS HER RIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAYS "DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY? I'M FUCKING GAY AS HELL",

lord and savior: Gay and Proud™

weast: really fucking gay and proud

hot detective: stop exposing.

hot detective: I have his number now

hot detective: his name is Daniel

lord and savior: Did you just set up Connor and Simon's brother?

weast:.

weast: maybe?

hot detective: Simon has a brother?

**_heart of jericho has logged on._ **

heart of jericho: Why is my brother texting me and freaking out about a hot guy asking for his number

heart of jericho: CONNOR WHY

hot detective: Don't look at me, North told me to.

heart of jericho: NORTH.

weast: whaaat?

hot detective: I'mma ask him out

weast: wOAH

heart of jericho: EXCUSE

lord and savior: I'll help.

weast: bitch, I hope the fuck you do,

weast: you'll be a dead son of a bitch, I'll tell you that.

heart of jericho: ^^me @ connor^^

hot detective: Calm down, I was asking if he wants to hang out.

heart of jericho: REWORD IT DIFFERENTLY PLEASE.

weast: Connor can you drive

hot detective: Yeah.

weast: Me and Markus are helping you with your date 

hot detective: it's not a date.

heart of jericho: I'm going too.

heart of jericho: Gotta make sure you look good for my brother.

hot detective: I look good for everyone.

heart of jericho: not for my fucking brother.

lord and savior: .

weast: .

hot detective: alright..

weast: I see you know well.

lord and savior: when Simon swears, you're in trouble.

hot detective: Yeah, yeah, get your ass here.

lord and savior: I don't have class at this time, just give me the address.

hot detective: Jesus, okay, I'll text you it.

weast: can't you just send the here?

hot detective: I rather not have Simon have preexisting data of where I sleep, so if Daniel gets the wrong idea and is upset, he has a smaller chance of murdering me.

weast: Even the guy handling the gun is afraid of Simon.

hot detective: I mean.

hot detective: I can fend for myself.

heart of jericho: not against me.

weast: Simon, you look like a stick compared to Connor.

weast: and Connor is kinda skinny.

hot detective: I'm not that skinny, okay

heart of jericho: I'm coming with you anyway.

hot detective: Unless you have a great memory, you won't remember my house 

heart of jericho: I dunno.

weast: alright, the fucking bell rang, Simon get your ass over here.

hot detective: Yeah,

hot detective: See you, Markus.

lord and savior: Yeah.


	5. Gay Panics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: My exposure senses are tingling.

just Josh: How did setting Connor go?

**_heart of jericho has logged on._ **

**_weast has logged on._ **

weast: it was a fucking mess.

heart of jericho: North is only saying that because Connor was rightfully stubborn on letting North strip him.

weast: yeah, yeah, markus helped tho.

weast: he isn't okay at the moment.

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: My exposure senses are tingling.

lord and savior: North, what do you mean, I'm fine.

weast: y'all know that isn't true.

weast: you went into a Gay Panic when you say Connor, don't lie 

lord and savior: I did not go into a "gay panic".

lord and savior: And why is that even capitalized?

weast: because it's so common that it might as well be a thing.

weast: you don't have to lie, no one will judge you.

weast: Simon went into a small Gay Panic when he saw Connor

heart of jericho: That is true.

heart of jericho: In my defense, I wasn't expecting that.

weast: none of us were.

just Josh: He's that attractive?

just Josh: To make even Simon and Markus go through a Gay Panic?

weast: yep.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: My ears are ringing and I can't stop sneezing.

hot detective: stop talking about me.

weast: Connie!

weast: how's your date going!

hot detective: It's not a date.

heart of jericho: ^^

hot detective: And I need help, like, bad.

hot detective: Daniel and I split ways and this girl won't leave me alone and I keep telling her I'm gay but she won't listen.

hot detective: she keeps saying "All guys say that,"

hot detective: I'm panicking 

hot detective: North, I need help

weast: I'M ON MY WAY

**_weast has logged off._ **

just Josh: Oh god.

heart of jericho: Markus..

lord and savior: I'm on it..

_**lord and savior has logged off.** _

heart of jericho: Help is on the way!

hot detective: oh good.

heart of jericho: What happened with you and Daniel?

hot detective: Nothing really.

hot detective: We we're hanging out and he noticed that I was kind of uncomfortable.

hot detective: He brought it up and we talked about that and said maybe next time would be better 

heart of jericho: Oh.

hot detective: It wasn't like he was disappointed or anything, he was justlkscvjd

heart of jericho: Just?

just Josh: Connor?

heart of jericho: Is he okay?

just Josh: It's probably that chick.

heart of jericho: I'm going to text Conan.

**_bench has logged on._ **

bench: What's wrong?

bench: Where's Connor?

bench: Is he okay?

just Josh: Okay, calm down,

heart of jericho: He's fine, just some trouble with a girl.

**_weast has logged on._ **

weast: fucking bitch

bench: North is Connor okay??

weast: He's fine, he looks a bit.. weird tho?

weast: I didn't know girls made him that uncomfortable.

weast: lmao, Markus said that he was his boyfriend.

weast: Amanda is a damn bitch tho.

bench: Amanda?

weast: that was her name. brown hair, green eyes, short, white, looks like she had multiple plastic surgeries.

just Josh: Whore Amanda?

weast: Whore Amanda.

heart of jericho: Disgusting.

bench: Where are you.

bench: Tell me now.

weast: woah, calm down

weast we're at the mall, the one with that big ass truck.

**_bench has logged off._ **

weast: What's his issue?

just Josh: I'm not sure.

just Josh: Maybe Connor was pretty shaken up about that?

weast: I can image 

weast: I know what it's like being in that situation..

heart of jericho: North..

weast: Don't worry about it. Maybe I'll try talking to Connor.

weast: No doubt he needs it.

heart of jericho: Right, text in a bit, okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about making short stories of what goes on in this world. I have a draft of what's happening at Connor's house while they're setting him up, but I'm going to rewrite it lmao.


	6. Stalking.jpg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just Josh: Get over here then.
> 
> lord and savior: What, to start a roof cult?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talks of slight assaulting and hinting to past rape.

heart of jericho: Is it just me or has North been more protective lately?

just Josh: It's probably about the whole Connor thing the other day.

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: Since he was practically assaulted, that's the likely reason.

lord and savior: North is the one that can relate, and she began feeling guilty.

heart of jericho: Guilty?

just Josh: Why guilty?

lord and savior: I'm not sure. I think it's because she knows something's up given the way Connor has reacted.

heart of jericho: What does that mean?

lord and savior: I'm not sure if I was quite honest.

lord and savior: Connor began flinching and was hesitant when North was trying to talk to him, when Conan came he practically ran over to him in a panic.

just Josh: Conan probably knows the reason why Connor acted that way.

heart of jericho: I don't think we should ask though.

heart of jericho: Remember Markus? North was hesitant to share her.. trauma with us. And if Connor has the same trauma then we need to be patient.

just Josh: But does he actually have the same trauma as North?

just Josh: Trauma comes in different forms.

lord and savior: I don't know.

lord and savior: But let's not try and but into his life, if and when he wants to talk about it, he will.

**_weast has logged on._ **

weast: bro, I was fucking walking down the courtyard and Connor just,

weast: he sends me this

weast: [stalking.jpg](https://goo.gl/images/D2enEH)

weast: I'm fucking comfused??

weast: I'm alone???

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: look up.

weast: up???

weast: I FUCKING SEE YOU STALKER

hot detective: took forever.

weast: BITCH.

lord and savior: I see you two are in a good mood.

weast: it's a good thing if you're bf is in a good mood.

lord and savior: wait what

hot detective: Pardon?

weast: I heard you tell Amanda that you and Connor are dating.

lord and savior: pdhsk

lord and savior: I only did it to get her off of his back.

weast: It's only a matter of time before she spreads it.

hot detective: Even if people think I'm dating Markus, that won't stop them.

weast: can't blame them.

hot detective: Hey, I see Simon.

heart of jericho: wait what

weast: CAN YOU GET DOWN FROM THE ROOF???

lord and savior: He's on a roof???

heart of jericho: just follow North yelling.

weast: DON'T TELL ME TO STOP YELLING

weast: CONNOR'S ON THE FUCKING ROOF.

heart of jericho: Yes, I can see him, I'm right behind you, stop texting and yelling what you're texting.

hot detective: Weak.

lord and savior: What are you doing on the roof?

hot detective: I wanted to think, I found the roof, then saw North walking.

hot detective: I'm people watching.

hot detective: I saw some guy get broken up with.

lord and savior: Damn, what happened.

hot detective: I'm not sure, but his ex threw coffee at him, so I think he cheated.

just Josh: That sucks.

hot detective: Why do people get in relationships only to cheat on their partner?

lord and savior: I wish I could answer that, Connor.

lord and savior: No one knows what goes through the human mind.

hot detective: Is that Josh?

just Josh: wait,

just Josh: How do you know what I look like?

hot detective: North showed me pictures.

just Josh: Hold on.

just Josh: is that u?

hot detective: Yes, hello.

lord and savior: I feel left out, what the hell

just Josh: Get over here then.

lord and savior: What, to start a roof cult?

weast: @Connor

weast: [stalking.jpg](https://goo.gl/images/D2enEH)

hot detective: Wait, what.

hot detective: oh hey

weast: Can you at least use your words.

heart of jericho: She says while she continues to text.

weast: can you shut the fuck up.

hot detective: Josh is joining us,

weast: he is?

hot detective: yeah.

hot detective: We're waiting on Markus, correct?

lord and savior: Yeah, I'm coming.

weast: where's Conan?

hot detective: he had to take today off for some reason.

weast: ooh.

hot detective: Besides, he wouldn't want to join us anyway, too shy 

weast: that's funny, Conan told us you were pretty much and a hermit.

hot detective: He lies.

heart of jericho: From what I've seen, Connor, you seem like the shy one.

hot detective: Stop exposing.

weast: Markus,

lord and savior: Yes?

weast: [stalking.jpg](https://goo.gl/images/D2enEH)

weast: HAHA, BEAT YOU TO IT.

hot detective: I wasn't going to send it,

weast: uh-huh.

lord and savior: Is this going to be a thing now?

weast: I can see you bitch,

weast: get up here, Josh is here and like,

just Josh: Small gay panic.

hot detective: wait, why.

**_weast has logged off._ **

heart of jericho: Ah,

**_heart of jericho has logged off._ **

lord and savior: Don't listen to North.

lord and savior: She's a bad influence.

hot detective: North told me to say you have five seconds to run away before she murders you 

lord and savior: Proves my point.


	7. Mario Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: What if Princess Peach actually loved Bowser and Mario kept kidnapping her?
> 
> hot detective: I sure hope not, I'm putting so much time and effort into this greedy bitch even though I could die.

**_weast has sent a picture to Jericho is God._ **

weast: Y'ALL FUCKING KNOW CONNOR HAS NATURAL CURLY HAIR??

bench: Yes, I did.

heart of jericho: Wow..

hot detective: Why are you exposing me?

weast: I'm fucking straight 

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: That's a lie.

weast: look at the pic I sent 

lord and savior: What pic?

lord and savior: O h.

weast: Connor, if it was a crime to be this attractive, you'd be jailed for life.

hot detective: Oh god..

hot detective: just watch the movie in peace please.

heart of jericho: What are you watching?

weast: Scooby Doo.

lord and savior: Shaggy is a meme.

weast: don't fucking remind me.

weast: Z Ö I N K 

weast: CONNOR WHAT THE FUCK

weast: LMFAO

lord and savior: What happened?

weast: I LOOK AT CONNOR'S PHONE AND IT'S JUST A FLYING MARIO HEAD MAKING AN AIRPLANE NOISE.

hot detective: It was in my feed.

hot detective: https://youtu.be/YG5k0MpRtj0

weast: I HIT MY NOSE

weast: CONNOR PLEASE

hot detective: I'm stopping the movie 

weast: WAIT WHY

hot detective: I'm gonna play Mario.

weast: YES.

heart of jericho: Is North over your house?

weast: yes.

lord and savior: There's an earrape version, what the hell.

weast: LMAO, CONNOR FELL INTO A PIT AND SAID "HELP, IVE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP".

weast: WHEN HE RESPAWNED HE SAID "THAT WAS MY IMPRESSION OF AMERICAN ADVERTISING."

hot detective: Luigi will now die for you.

lord and savior: What if Princess Peach actually loved Bowser and Mario kept kidnapping her?

hot detective: I sure hope not, I'm putting so much time and effort into this greedy bitch even though I could die.

weast: LMAO

heart of jericho: Connor is just iconic

weast: He's fucking hilarious, like what the hell.

lord and savior: Is Connor and North just Mario and Luigi?

weast: Yes.

heart of jericho: Who's who?

hot detective: I'm Luigi because he's always the forgotten brother, insecure and just a mood in general.

weast: Wow that took a 180.

lord and savior: Are you okay???

hot detective: Lmao yeah

hot detective: Luigi is my favorite character.

weast: I like toad.

hot detective: Toad is fake and is on crack.

lord and savior: He basically just said your opinion is invalid.

weast: Connor's my favorite, he can do it, it's fine.

heart of jericho: I like toadette.

hot detective: She's sweet.

weast: OH, BUT TOAD ISN'T?

hot detective: I told you, he sounds like some dude that's been smoking too much.

weast: YOU SOUND LIKE ONE.

hot detective: You love my voice.

weast: shit u rite.

lord and savior: I like the pink vacuum cleaner.

weast: pink..?

weast: BRO YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME.

hot detective: Fucking Birdo.

weast: UNCULTURED SWINE.

lord and savior: I haven't played Mario in years, okay??

hot detective: I'm breaking up with you 

weast: WOW

heart of jericho: Rip Markus.

lord and savior: We weren't even dating???

hot detective: Not anymore.

hot detective: And after that stunt we definitely will not.

weast: DAMN.


	8. Gay Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: North is fucking lesbian and she gets more dick than me, a gay guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not kidding you, I'm actually having a gay moment rn.
> 
> I was tryna sleep and was thinking about some chick and now I'm awake and writing this lmfao.

hot detective: north is laying right besides me and texts me saying that she's having a gay issue.

weast: DONT FUCKING EXPOSE ME JUST TEXT ME.

hot detective: I have gay issues all the time North.

weast: yeah, I fucking know.

lord and savior: it's 10pm what is going on.

hot detective: I just want to sleep.

weast: Connor and this chick got into an argument earlier 

weast: he fucking said and I quote, "you're just jealous because I get more dick than you "

hot detective: it's true though, I get more dick than most females.

hot detective: north just fucking talk to me please.

hot detective: my phone is blinding my eyes.

weast: fucking fine.

lord and savior: now I'm wide awake.

weast: go back to sleep.

lord and savior: how can I????

weast: close your eyes????

hot detective: i can't.

hot detective: she showed me a picture of a cat saying she's having a gay issue.

weast: Connor's tired voice is hot.

hot detective: go to sleep.

weast: lmao k can't now.

hot detective: good night.

weast: cuddle me plz.

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

weast: hES HUGGING ME YES.

**_weast has sent a picture to Jericho is God._ **

**_just Josh has logged on._ **

just Josh: I'm trying to sleep what the fuck.

lord and savior: North is fucking lesbian and she gets more dick than me, a gay guy.

weast: you're just jealous because Connor broke up with you.

just Josh: wait what

lord and savior: we weren't even dating.

just Josh: what did I miss???

weast: Connor and Markus broke up.

lord and savior: only because I didn't know birdos name.

just Josh: you two were dating??

lord and savior: No!

weast: I'mma cuddle Connor.

weast: see ya bitches.

**_weast has logged off._ **

just Josh: Connor's gay right?

lord and savior: I think so, why?

just Josh: Just double checking.

lord and savior: yeah, well, he's kinda off the market right now.

lord and savior: north has him.

just Josh: is that jealousy I detect?

lord and savior: your radar is failing you.

lord and savior: I'm going back to sleep.

just Josh: me too.

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

**_just Josh has logged off._ **

**_weast has logged on._ **

weast: I'm having a gay moment.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: North, I swear to God.


	9. Connor the Saint.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: Connor the Saint.

weast: CONNOR WHAT HAPPENED???

lord and savior: What's wrong?

heart of jericho: ^^??

weast: THERE WAS COPS OUTSIDE AND CONNOR WAS TALKING WITJ THEM

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

**_hot detective has added Kara to Jericho is God._ **

weast: wait what??

Kara: Hi..

hot detective: Kara, explain please, I'm tryna pop my nose back into place.

Kara: I told you I could help you 

hot detective: I got it.

hot detective: Conan is probably gonna pop it back out anyway.

Kara: Okay.

weast:??

Kara: Okay, well, I'm Kara, as you can tell..

weast: what did you do to Connor??

Kara: Oh no, I didn't do anything.

Kara: Connor helped me.

Kara: I had to bring my daughter with me to class because my boyfriend was too sick to watch her,

Kara: After class my teacher was touchy and aggressive.

Kara: Connor happened to be walking by and heard what was going on.

Kara: The prick slapped my daughter and Connor punched him.

Kara: The teacher fought back, and then called the cops afterwards.

Kara: He was arrested with harassment of a minor.

weast: Oh my god.

Kara: If it wasn't for Connor, I don't know what would've happened.

Kara: Connor, really, I can't thank you enough.

hot detective: I told you, it's fine. 

hot detective: Is Alice okay?

Kara: Yes, she's perfectly fine, her cheek is kind of red, but she's okay.

hot detective: That's good.

Kara: She really likes you, she's calling you a knight.

hot detective: Lol, maybe one day I'll teacher her how to protect a castle.

Kara: She'd like that.

Kara: After this, I think we may move back to Canada to stay with my mother.

hot detective: That's disappointing.

hot detective: I hope everything works out.

Kara: Thank you, it was nice meeting you.

Kara: I'll talk to you later to update you.

hot detective: Alright, tell Alice I said hi.

Kara: I will.

**_Kara has left the chat._ **

hot detective: I don't get it.

hot detective: Why would you even harass a student and her child??

weast: CONNOR YOU FUCKING SAINT

hot detective: What?

weast: YOU ARE A GOD

hot detective: I thought Markus was a god?

lord and savior: I'm Jesus.

lord and savior: you're too nice.

weast: TOO PURE.

weast: Wait, Connor, did you get charged?

hot detective: They told me that it was in self defense.

hot detective: Besides, if they did arrest me, Hank would be pissed, so they don't want to do that, lmao.

hot detective: But I didn't get like, ya know.

weast: It was fucked up though.

lord and savior: Yeah, you don't just slap a kid.

hot detective: At least he's in jail.

weast: Connor = God

weast: fucking saint.

hot detective: lmao

hot detective: You would've done the same.

weast: Connor pls.

hot detective: Hank's here

hot detective: gotta blast.

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

weast: he's a fucking saint.

weast: he needs to himself more credit

lord and savior: Connor the Saint.


	10. Odd.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: OH MY FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy talks of child abuse.

weast: I have big time rush stuck in my head.

just Josh: that's an old show.

lord and savior: the best show tho.

just Josh: true.

weast: y'all know where Connor and Conan are?

lord and savior: no?

just Josh: I haven't seen them.

weast: skipping without me :^0

lord and savior: The first emoji used.

weast: at least it wasn't a Lenny face.

lord and savior: Yeah, let's not.

weast: I feel bored and lonely, Where's Connor.

lord and savior: I feel hurt?

just Josh: Have you texted him?

weast: thirteen times.

lord and savior: He could be asleep 

weast: Connor had a built in alarm clock, he doesn't sleep past 9.

weast: he always responds after the first five messages.

weast: something's wrong.

just Josh: Or his phone died!

weast: He always keeps his phone charged and doesn't use it unless he has to.

lord and savior: Okay Connor Enthusiast.

lord and savior: what do you think is going on??

weast: Connor needs help.

just Josh: Or, or, or ,or

just Josh: He's spending time with his family??

weast: he-..

weast: I can't really argue with that.

lord and savior: Problem solved.

just Josh: Speaking of which, have you seen the news?

weast: About what?

just Josh: The CyberLife one?

weast: oh, that fucked up business with all the shady CEOs?

just Josh: Yeah, apparently, the old CEO is back after a trial case was filed against her.

weast: Shit, what was it?

just Josh: Child abuse, but since no evidence was found, they dismissed the case.

just Josh: But because of her missing, CyberLife fell into a decline and have been having a hard time getting out.

just Josh: the CEO retired for some reason and just came back.

weast: damn.

lord and savior: Child abuse?

weast: wait, yeah,

weast: how was there no evidence found against her?

just Josh: They found no physical evidence on the kid(s).

just Josh: and they can't prove if they suffered mental issues because those are also normal.

just Josh: So they dismissed it 

weast: That's fucked up 

lord and savior: I can't imagine what it's like to go through abuse only to be told there was no evident against it.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

**_bench has logged on._ **

weast: CONNOR I MISSED YOU.

hot detective: missed you too.

just Josh: What was going on?

bench: Spending time with the family.

weast:.

just Josh: I told you so.

bench: ?

lord and savior: North was overreacting about Connor being MIA.

hot detective: oh, sorry North.

weast: it's okay..

just Josh: did you hear the news?

bench: Yes we did.

lord and savior: I want to know did the mom actually abuse the kid(s)?

bench: That's something that no one can know or prove.

bench: I personally think she did.

weast: I don't know about the case, but if the kids say so, then I agree.

just Josh: But kids can say stuff all the time.

just Josh: Some kids do it for attention, we don't know what happened unless they speak up.

just Josh: Even if they do, it wouldn't be the smartest thing, it would cause another scandal.

hot detective: What if it wasn't just a big ruse for attention??

hot detective: what if they were actually getting abused??

just Josh: We wouldn't know.

just Josh: Oh right..

just Josh: I'm sorry, I forgot that you recently dealt with child abuse.

just Josh: How's Kara and Alice?

hot detective: they're fine.

lord and savior: That's good.

bench: Can we change the topic?

weast: Yeah, sure.

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

bench: I apologise, Hank requires us for something, please continue.

**_bench has logged off._ **

lord and savior: Well.

weast: Something's wrong.

just Josh: North, I think you're just overreacting 

lord and savior: I agree, they said Hank was spending time with them,

weast: Yeah, well, haven't you noticed how distant and weird their responses are???

lord and savior: they look like normal responses North..

just Josh: Calm down.

weast: Fuck you two, really.

weast: I thought Connor was our friend.

weast: But apparently, I seem to be the only one who cared about him.

lord and savior: North.

lord and savior: That isn't true.

lord and savior: If something's wrong, Connor would've told you, right?

lord and savior: You're his best friend, he would say something.

lord and savior: He could've had a rough morning.

lord and savior: It happens to the best of us.

weast: I know Connor best here.

weast: Other than Conan.

weast: I know how he texts.

weast: When he's tired, he swears, he doesn't want to be anywhere. He agrees with whatever and doesn't care in general.

weast: That wasn't him being tired.

weast: It doesn't explain how aggressive Connor reacted when Josh suggested that the kids were lying.

just Josh: I was saying that they were..

weast: Oh my god..

lord and savior: North?

weast: I have to go.

weast: Oh my fucking god, of course.

weast: Josh.

weast: The CEO, do you know her name?

just Josh: Uh...

just Josh: Amanda.

weast: LAST NAME.

just Josh: Stern?

weast: OH MY FUCKING GOD 

lord and savior: North??

weast: DOES IT SAY HOW MANY KIDS SHE HAD?

just Josh: uhhh..

just Josh: They said they wouldn't say it for privacy reasons.

just Josh: But they use plural, so.. two? three?

weast: OH MY FUCK

**_weast has logged off._ **

lord and savior: Should.. we be concerned?

just Josh: I don't think so.

just Josh: She doesn't know where Stern lives.

lord and savior: Stern..

lord and savior: Stern-Kamski?

just Josh: I think so.

lord and savior: Weren't they the ones talking about how robots could change the future?

just Josh: I'm not sure.

lord and savior: I could've sworn Carl was talking about Kamski 

lord and savior: Said he was over the moon when Amanda was pregnant 

just Josh: It doesn't say she was married to a Kamski. No previous relationships either.

lord and savior: That's odd, I thought they were married?

just Josh: Doesn't say.

just Josh: There were rumors going around about an affair.

just Josh: Kamski however, is married to a Chloe.

just Josh: Again, no previous relationships, no children.

just Josh: Same for Amanda, no names for Children.

just Josh: It's like they never existed.

just Josh: Same with the relationship.

lord and savior: Odd..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> North is one smart cookie, lmao.


	11. Issue = Solved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: since he broke up with you and all.
> 
> lord and savior: jfc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just quickly say that the support that this book is getting is literally like, making me so happy? Like, literally?? Lmao, honestly, I'm happy that you guys are enjoying this so much.

heart of jericho: North is right.

lord and savior: About what?

heart of jericho: About Connor and Conan's responses being weird.

heart of jericho: Connor seemed more.. quiet and distant while Conan seemed completely shut off. More.. "robotic" than he normally is.

lord and savior: Yeah...

lord and savior: After North left, I kept rereading every single message.

lord and savior: I see what she means.

heart of jericho: This is.. just a random thought..

heart of jericho: but...

heart of jericho: What if Connor and Conan are the abused kids of Amanda's?

heart of jericho: I mean, the day before the news they were perfectly fine.

heart of jericho: Then when it was announced that Amanda is back they started acting strangely.

heart of jericho: It would explain how weird Connor reacted to the other Amanda when she practically assaulted him.

heart of jericho: Conan even acted harsher when North said her name is Amanda.

heart of jericho: Doesn't it make sense?

lord and savior: I really hate to say this.

lord and savior: But it does.

lord and savior: I felt bad enough after North said we didn't care about Connor,

lord and savior: But him being a possible victim of abuse?

**_weast has logged on._ **

heart of jericho: Hey North..

heart of jericho: How's Connor?

weast: he's fine.

weast: his dog was really sick and he was worried about him.

weast: that's why he was acting weird.

heart of jericho: Really?

weast: yeah, both of them are fine though.

lord and savior: Okay, that's.. good.

weast: Oh

weast: Yeah, it's not what you were thinking.

weast: I thought it was, but no.

heart of jericho: okay...

**_weast has sent an image to Jericho is God._ **

weast: Connor and his slushy.

lord and savior: Are you at 7/11?

weast: Yep, we're on a date.

heart of jericho: a date?

weast: Connor felt bad about worrying me and took me out.

lord and savior: he's a saint.

weast: I fucking know right?

weast: he's bf material.

weast: HUSBAND MATERIAL.

lord and savior: I'll bet.

weast: too bad you can't get any of his action.

weast: since he broke up with you and all.

lord and savior: jfc

weast: but yeah,

weast: the issue with Connor has been solved.

weast: he's good.

weast: gotta blast bitches.

**_weast has logged off._ **

**_heart of jericho has logged off._ **

lord and savior: Oh.

lord and savior: I'm all alone.

lord and savior: No one here besides me.

**_just Josh has logged on._ **

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

just Josh: Okay, that's slightly rude.

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: lmao, I'm sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, we all know that North is lying, right? Lmao


	12. Connor vs Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heart of jericho: Lol, leave him North, he's being gay.
> 
> lord and savior: I'm not being gay.

**_weast has sent a picture to Jericho is God._ **

heart of jericho: Are you at a bar?

weast: fuck yeah

lord and savior: Damn, without us?

weast: I'm with Connor.

weast: he's had five drinks and he's still perfectly fine??

lord and savior: Hold on,

lord and savior: Shy and hermit Connor, allowed you to bring him to a bar??

weast: He wanted to go.

lord and savior: SHY AND HERMIT CONNOR.

lord and savior: WANTED TO GO TO A BAR?

weast: yeah, pretty much.

heart of jericho: Haha

weast: oh god

weast: someone's hitting on Connor.

weast: oh, nvm he's perfectly fine.

weast: I'm gonna be needing a driver soon.

heart of jericho: Are you going to be drinking more?

weast: Not really, but I'm not going to be able to move Connor when I need to.

heart of jericho: Markus and I will help.

lord and savior: we will?

heart of jericho: Of course we will.

lord and savior: Right, we will.

weast: nice, great.

weast: and Connor wants my phone.

weast: Simon you're a saint.

weast: I love you <3

heart of jericho: I love you too, Connor

weast: at least you know it's Connor, lmao.

lord and savior: Oh, I don't get any "I love you"'s?

weast: Connor says no.

weast: You forgot birdos name.

lord and savior: It wasn't my fault, okay, all I knew was that she was a cute pink vacuum cleaner.

weast: fine

weast: I love you Markus

lord and savior: uh..

lord and savior: yeah.. love you too..

weast: wtf, you wanted him to say that??

heart of jericho: Lol, leave him North, he's being gay.

lord and savior: I'm not being gay.

heart of jericho: Your red face says otherwise.

lord and savior: Simon I'm about to deck you.

weast: more drinks for Connor.

weast: I'm so gonna be needing help.

heart of jericho: We'll help you, don't worry.

weast: I am wondering what type of drunk Connor is.

lord and savior: I.. don't want to find out.

lord and savior: Simon.

lord and savior: I see that smirk on your face, don't say what I think you're about to say.

weast: lmao

weast: You'd die from being aroused.

lord and savior: BRO.

heart of jericho: ^^^

lord and savior: I would NOT, okay??

heart of jericho: Right.

heart of jericho: North, where's Conan?

weast: I honestly don't know, I didn't see Conan when I went to Connor's house. He's probably out doing his own stuff.

weast: Jesus fuck.

weast: "these drinks aren't strong enough"

weast: he says about tequila.

heart of jericho: Maybe you should stop Connor..

heart of jericho: He's obviously drinking for a specific reason.

weast: yeah, I know the specific reason, but I can't just tell him no, he fucking needs a drink.

weast: Even Hank told him to drink

weast: and I know Connor doesn't like alcohol too much.

lord and savior: Is this like, code for something?

weast: shut up Markus.

heart of jericho: Shut up Markus.

lord and savior: .

weast: I'll text you in an hour or so, give you updates and all that.

weast: I have to make sure Connor doesn't get fucking assaulted 

weast: We all know guys and girls would go for a drunk hottie.

weast: the scary thing is that Connor doesn't even look drunk yet.

heart of jericho: Make sure he doesn't drink too much.

weast: okay.

weast: Connor vs bar, who will win.

heart of jericho: See how strong his hangover is then we'll determine that.

weast: yeah,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon Connor as a guy with high alcohol tolerance lmfao.
> 
> He seems like the type to me tbh.


	13. Emotional Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: it's ur Uber
> 
> lord and savior: am outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a shot everytime North texts in caps.

weast: Connor is crying in the bathroom.

heart of jericho: Why??

weast: I..

weast: I can't understand him?

weast: Hold on,

lord and savior: He's crying in a bathroom??

heart of jericho: Apparently.

weast: He's..

weast: Lmfao

weast: He's crying because Eliza had such a hard life

lord and savior: Eliza?

weast: She's a fucking founding fathers wife.

weast: and from a damn musical.

lord and savior: Connor likes musicals??

weast: Apparently lmao

lord and savior: Oh, my god.

heart of jericho: Here we go.

lord and savior: He's so precious?? What the fuck?? 

heart of jericho: Markus, calm down your gayness.

weast: I fucking can't. Connor's an emotional drunk.

weast: BUT BRO

weast: I WAS PANICKING BECAUSE I LOST CONNOR

weast: THIS DUDE COMES UP TO ME SAYING "UH, MISS, YOUR FRIEND IS CURRENTLY CRYING ON THE FLOOR IN THE BATHROOM"

weast: I FUCKING THOUGHT HE GOT RAPED

weast: BUT NO, HE'S CRYING ABOUT A MUSICAL.

weast: Oh my god

weast: I told him to think about Heather's instead 

weast: He fucking said "JD's hot" I can't with this kid.

weast: I'm gonna cry

weast: Connor said he wished he was attractive, so I told him to look in the mirror.

weast: HE SAID "BUT I WAS ALWAYS TOLD THAT I WASN'T"

weast: WHO HURT YOU HONEY

heart of jericho: We know who did North.

weast: FUCKING COCK SUCKER

lord and savior: I'm going to die

lord and savior: Do you need us to go pick you up?

weast: Kind of.

weast: pay no attention to what Connor may say or do.

weast: I am not held responsible for damage of property or person, the company isn't responsible for damage or death.

weast: I mean you, Markus.

lord and savior: okay??

lord and savior: slight concerned about the second part??

lord and savior: I'm gonna go get the car.

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

weast: I had to listen to Connor go on and on about this guy.

weast: I'm not kidding you, he kept saying "his eyes are so pretty"

weast: I fucking can't with this kid.

weast: I think he has a crush.

weast: Hold on.

heart of jericho: It's more than likely.

heart of jericho: Drunk people let their inward feelings go.

weast: Yep, he likes him.

weast: Connor's so fucking gay.

heart of jericho: how much did Connor drink?

weast: I honestly don't know. He's fucking smashed right now, so I'm gonna go on a limb and say a fucking lot.

heart of jericho: I'mma fucking slap him.

weast: you and me both.

heart of jericho: I'm staying with Connor.

weast: no I am.

heart of jericho: do you want to fucking go??

weast: FUCKING BET BITCH

weast: I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT

heart of jericho: I dare you.

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

weast: shit.

heart of jericho: North did it.

weast: WHAT THE FUXK SIMON

lord and savior: what the fuck.

lord and savior: Okay, how about we all stay with Connor?

weast: fine.

lord and savior: Okay, be there in ten.

heart of jericho: On our way!!

weast: you're no fucking angle.

lord and savior: do you mean angel?

weast: DONT FUXKING TEXT AND DRIVE

lord and savior: oKay

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

weast: and no, I don't fucking mean angel.

weast: Simon isn't an acute angle.

heart of jericho: I gave the title to Connor.

weast: speaking of which, he's so needy.

weast: he's hugging my leg.

heart of jericho: he's a big dog.

heart of jericho: give him affection.

weast: I am. I don't want to sit on the floor in the men's fucking bathroom.

heart of jericho: You're still in the bathroom??

weast: HOW CAN I MOVE THIS BIG BABY???

weast: fuck, hold on.

**_just Josh has logged on._ **

just Josh: woah, what's happening?

heart of jericho: North is struggling with a drunk Connor.

just Josh: Connor's drunk?

heart of jericho: Smashed.

just Josh: Damn, how long has he been drinking?

heart of jericho: A few hours?

heart of jericho: From what North has said, Connor has a high alcohol tolerance

just Josh: Oh god.

heart of jericho: Yep.

weast: Okay,

weast: Connor is throwing up.

weast: I'm going to try to sober him up.

heart of jericho: yeah, good luck with that.

just Josh: you'll need it 

weast: When did you get here?

just Josh: just now.

weast: oh.

heart of jericho: hey, no traffic.

heart of jericho: We'll be there in a tiny bit.

weast: yeah, then there's gonna be a shit ton of traffic on the way home.

heart of jericho: Hopefully Connor can make it on the ride home.

weast: I think he will.

weast: I actually think he's trying to sober himself up.

weast: He's really fucking puking lmfao

heart of jericho: gross.

weast: the king requires water.

weast: the king asks, he shall get.

weast: okay, he's failing.

weast: now he's talking about the guy again.

just Josh: Guy?

weast: "Pretty Eyes"

weast: aka Markus.

just Josh: he could be talking about Simon.

weast: Nah, he says blue and green.

weast: know any other heterochromias?

just Josh: Nope.

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: it's ur Uber

lord and savior: am outside.

weast: get fucking in here then.

weast: I can't carry him.

lord and savior: omw

**_weast has logged off._ **

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

heart of jericho: Now that Connor is apart of this group, I definitely won't be able to handle him.

heart of jericho: North and Markus are a hand full

heart of jericho: and if he can give North trouble, then I don't need anything else to tell me that I'll fail 

just Josh: lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not promote texting and driving.


	14. Bar Won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: he said "I still don't fucking know what Costco is"
> 
> weast: I don't know if I should laugh or be concerned

weast: Connor vs bar

weast: bar won

heart of jericho: he's awake?

weast: yeah, hurry your asses up 

heart of jericho: look, I'mma make Connor soup, so calm your ass down and let me get the stuff.

weast: my son needs help now

heart of jericho: I know, I'm going as fast as I can.

weast: obviously you're not being fast enough.

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: we can't go fast if you keep texting us

lord and savior: it's fucking early, not to mention we didn't get much sleep, so,

weast: Are you blaming Connor?

lord and savior: I never said I was blaming him.

lord and savior: I'm saying we're tired and it's early as hell, we are going as fast as any normal person can.

lord and savior: Connor can live ten more minutes

weast: ya no

weast: he's throwing up.

lord and savior: jfc

weast: I don't know if Connor is like, still drunk?

lord and savior: Why?

weast: he said "I still don't fucking know what Costco is"

weast: I don't know if I should laugh or be concerned

lord and savior: lmao, he's fine.

weast: wait, what is Costco?

lord and savior: uh...

lord and savior: I don't know?

weast: fucking hell, I'm going to google

weast: look what Connor started.

lord and savior: lol okay.

lord and savior: we're gonna check out now.

lord and savior: be there when we get there.

weast: it's a fucking company.

lord and savior: what?

weast: Costco 

weast: it's some wholesome store

lord and savior: tell that to Connor.

weast: LMAO

weast: "what the fuck?"

weast: hopefully, Connor can strip himself.

lord and savior: wait what??

weast: I told him to take a shower.

weast: uh

weast: I think Costco has pissed Connor off.

lord and savior: jfc jmao, we're on our way

weast: yeah, hurry.


	15. Sweet Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: bro, just imagine driving by and you see all those fucking fireworks lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a big ass shit post of my thoughts during the half time.
> 
> Fucking cock suckers.

weast: they better play that SpongeBob song 

lord and savior: are you watching the Superbowl?

weast: watching with Hank and Connor

**_weast has sent a picture to Jericho is God._ **

heart of jericho: Look Markus!

heart of jericho: Connor is cute!

lord and savior: pshskj-

weast: BRO

weast: DON'T FUCKING TEASE ME LILE THAT

heart of jericho: Lmao

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: North pls just watch lmao

weast: I AM

lord and savior: I am now watching.

weast: GOOD

weast: FUCKING MAROON 5 BETTER SING IT

heart of jericho: I don't know if they're going to.

weast: IF THEY DON'T IM FUCKING MURDERING PEOPLE

hot detective: Hank said he'd have to arrest you, unfortunately.

weast: Hank is a saint.

weast: Jesus fuck lady, calm down.

lord and savior: lmao

weast: CONNORS LAUGH!!!!

weast: screaming girls is me tho

hot detective: you just want SpongeBob.

weast: YOU FUCKING WANT SPONGEBOB

weast: I WILL CRY IF THEY DON'T PLAY IT

hot detective: if you cry I'll cry.

lord and savior: I'll cry if Connor cries.

heart of jericho: Stop your gayness.

lord and savior: Simon, please.

weast: Adam is holy.

weast: fucking beautiful.

hot detective: Adam or the lanterns?

weast: lanterns.

hot detective: oh.

weast: LMAO I SEE YOU CONNOR

hot detective: Adam is beautiful.

weast: you're beautiful.

heart of jericho: ^

lord and savior: ^^

hot detective: lmao

weast: I want that fucking jacket

hot detective: please no.

heart of jericho: North, you'd drown in that.

weast: DID I FUCKING STUTTER???

lord and savior: okaaay lmao

weast: CONNOR CAN SING.

hot detective: fUCKING STOP

lord and savior: Wait, what??

hot detective: oh god--

weast: LMFAO CONNOR ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK

hot detective: okay, calm down, north.

weast: YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

lord and savior: Both of you calm down lmao

hot detective: I want sugar.

heart of jericho: Markus can give it to you.

lord and savior: Markus what??

hot detective: ??????

hot detective: oh boy.

weast: AIM FOR MY HEART CONNOR

hot detective: I got your heart when we first met.

weast: Fucking facts.

hot detective: wait, fuck

weast: LMFAO 

hot detective: when did he strip??

hot detective: wow.

weast: YOURE SO FUCKING GAY

lord and savior: eh.

heart of jericho: don't be jealous, Markus.

lord and savior: Shut up.

weast: bro, just imagine driving by and you see all those fucking fireworks lmao

weast: FUCKING COCK SUCKERS

weast: YOU CAN'T PUT SPONGEBOB THEN DON'T SING IT

hot detective: north just left the room.

hot detective: Hank left too

hot detective: at least they're in the lead.

weast: STEPHEN DIDN'T DIE FOR THIS

weast: PEOPLE DID A PETITION FOR THIS

weast: FUCKING BITCH

hot detective: I have to go make sure North doesn't murder someone.

lord and savior: Good luck, Connor 

hot detective: thx <3

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

lord and savior: o h.

heart of jericho: .

weast: ONE

weast: TWO

weast: THREE

weast: FOUR

heart of jericho: ?

weast: THE WINNER TAKES ALL

weast: IT'S THE THRILL OF ONE MORE KILL, THE LAST ONE TO FALL

lord and savior: Jesus Christ.

lord and savior: Connor, North is fine.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: yeah, I can see lmao.

weast: WILL NEVER SACRIFICE THEIR WILL

hot detective: So how are you Markus?

lord and savior: I'm okay, I kinda wish they played sweet victory though.

hot detective: yeah.

weast: DON'T EVER LOOK BACK

weast: ON THE WORLD CLOSING IN

lord and savior: How are you? With the hangover and all.

hot detective: I'm fine, my head kinda hurts though. Doesn't help that North was yelling.

lord and savior: She does that a lot.

hot detective: I know.

weast: THE ONLY ATTACK WITH YOUR WINGS ON THE WIND

weast: THE GAMES WILL BEGIN

weast: AND IT'S SWEET,

weast: SWEET

weast: SWEET VICTORY

weast: YEAH

lord and savior: So,

lord and savior: I have pretty eyes?

hot detective: oh god...

hot detective: I was hoping that you wouldn't see that.

lord and savior: Oh, I needed some answers after last night.

hot detective: Oh god what did I do??

weast: AND IT'S OURS FOR THE TAKING

weast: ITS OURS FOR THE FIGHT

weast: AND IT'S SWEET,

weast: SWEET,

weast: SWEET VICTORY

weast: YEAH

lord and savior: First off, you straight up told me that I was hot.

hot detective: Jesus fuck.

lord and savior: then you looked over to North and asked if we were actually friends because of how "attractive I am" and you were nothin compared to me.

lord and savior: Which isn't fucking true by the way.

hot detective: there's more, isn't there.

lord and savior: Yep.

weast: AND THE ONE THATS LAST TO FALL

weast: THE WINNER TAKES ALL.

weast: YOU DON'T WIN NO SILVER

weast: YOU ONLY LOOSE THE GOLD

weast: YOU PUSH WITH A FEVER

weast: FOR YOUR TIME KEEPS TOLLING ON.

lord and savior: I tried helping North change you, but then you said "already stripping me? At least take me to dinner first"

lord and savior: is that offer still up?

hot detective: HFPDJJS

heart of jericho: WOW MARKUS

lord and savior: North fucking cackled

lord and savior: You started laughing so fucking hard because of it

lord and savior: and if that wasn't the cutest thing then you surely changed my mind.

heart of jericho: WHAT HAPPENED TO SAYING YOU WEREN'T BEING GAY??

lord and savior: Okay, well, I can't ignore this now lmao.

heart of jericho: I mean, I have been watching you two low-key flirt with each other, som

hot detective: wait what

lord and savior: you were watching???

heart of jericho: NOT DENYING IT

weast: AGAINST ALL THE ODDS

weast: AGAINST ALL YOUR PAIN

weast: YOUR BACKS ON THE WALL WITH NO ONE TO BLAME

heart of jericho: fUCKING HELL NORTH

heart of jericho: MARKUS AND CONNOR ARE REALIZING 

weast: WAIT WHAT

hot detective: okay, hold on a second.

hot detective: We aren't realizing anything.

lord and savior: Yeah.

heart of jericho: BITCH I JUST READ IT

lord and savior: read what?

lord and savior: no messages.

weast: yeah, what are you talking about Simon?

heart of jericho: FUCKING-

weast: OH WILD HEARTS WON'T BE TAMED

heart of jericho: N O R T H.

weast: AND IT'S SWEET

hot detective: SWEET

lord and savior: SWEET VICTORY

heart of jericho: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT

weast: IT'S OURS FOR THE TAKING.

lord and savior: Anyway, Connor are you busy tomorrow?

hot detective: I don't think so, why?

lord and savior: Carl and I are gonna paint and I was wondering if you wanted to come over.

hot detective: Sure.

heart of jericho: ^^^ FYCKING???

weast: ITS OURS FOR THE FIGHT

weast: AND IT'S SWEET

weast: SWEET

weast: SWEET VICTORY

weast: AND THE ONE WHOS LAST TO FALL

hot detective: can North come?

lord and savior: Oh yeah, of course.

hot detective: yay.

lord and savior: lol.

weast: THE WINNER TAKES ALL

heart of jericho: Markus, kick her.

**_lord and savior has kicked heart of jericho._ **

lord and savior: my phone is going to blow up 

hot detective: lol.

lord and savior: nOt mE mArKus

weast: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, I was contemplating whether or not Connor and Markus should be a thing here, but I was like "nah, let's build it up more"


	16. Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: where will you propose?
> 
> hot detective: um.
> 
> hot detective: McDonald's bathroom?

**_hot detective has sent[north.fucking.screams.vdj](https://www.instagram.com/p/BtccR_vhFtS/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1qkny47lytf2l) to Jericho is God._ **

**_hot detective has added heart of jericho to Jericho is God._ **

weast: the pats fucking won, do you expect me to NOT be excited??

hot detective: you didn't have to scream at Sumo.

lord and savior: Animal abuse.

weast: I would kick you, but that would be animal abuse.

hot detective: North, Markus has kindly invited us to go over.

weast: he did?

lord and savior: I mean,

lord and savior: I asked Connor to come over and he asked if you could.

weast: y'all just adding me into plans without me knowing??

hot detective: but North.

hot detective: I'm shy.

weast: SIGN ME THE FUCK UP 

**_bench has logged on._ **

bench: Connor,

bench: Please control your girlfriend.

hot detective: PFFFFFF-

lord and savior: Hold in just a second-

weast: WOAH

bench: I can understand her excitement, but screaming at Sumo was unnecessary.

lord and savior: Connor and North aren't dating.

bench: Are you Connor and/or North?

lord and savior: uh.

lord and savior: Connor's fucking gay.

hot detective: ^^^^^^^^

bench: I was only teasing.

weast: I FUCKING SAW JESUS CHRIST

weast: I'VE ASCENDED

hot detective: Come back down.

bench: That reminds me,

bench: Connor, remember when you were told of an arranged marriage?

hot detective: egchk.

lord and savior: I can feel his cringe.

**_heart of jericho has logged on._ **

heart of jericho: That's you being gay.

**_heart of jericho has logged off._ **

lord and savior: Fucking hell, Simon.

weast: HOLD ON

weast: ARRANGED MARRIAGE??

bench: Unimportant, just bringing up a bad memory.

hot detective: Thanks slut.

bench: No problem bitch.

weast: sibling bonding.

hot detective: marry Conan then we can be related 

weast: -

weast: that sounds tempting.

weast: but no.

hot detective: marry me?

lord and savior: no.

weast: yeah, no, sorry.

weast: your Markus's husbando.

weast: he'll kill me.

hot detective: I buy you ring.

weast: I mean.

hot detective: I'm rich.

lord and savior: I'm rich too.

hot detective: I have a dollar, I'll buy you a ring pop.

weast: my heart has been stolen.

weast: where will you propose?

hot detective: um.

hot detective: McDonald's bathroom?

weast: IM SOLD

weast: ITS OFFICIAL

weast: ME AND CONNOR ARE GETTING MARRIED

lord and savior: wHAT

weast: SUCK MY DICK MARKUS

**_heart of jericho has logged on._ **

heart of jericho: That's Connor's job.

**_heart of jericho has logged off._ **

**_heart of jericho has logged on._ **

heart of jericho: wait.

weast: lmfao you messed up 

hot detective: north do you have a dick?

weast: yeah b 8 inch.

hot detective: damn.

hot detective: .5 bigger.

weast: wait-

hot detective: lololol

bench: He's joking.

weast: WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE.

weast: CONNOR

weast: CONAN

weast: DO YOU TWO HAVE THE SAME SIZE??

heart of jericho: Markus can find out 

lord and savior: don't throw me into a fucking threesome.

weast: what, you'll get banged by two Connors, what's better than that?

bench: Banging a Connor.

hot detective: Conan, don't

weast: FUCKING SPILL

bench: the both of us are different.

bench: I prefer being dominant.

bench: As expected, Connor prefers being submissive.

hot detective: CONAN

weast: FUCKING HOT

bench: I have witnessed Connor say multiple times that he'd want to get "dicked" down.

weast: WOOOOOOW

bench: Since I'm exposing him,

bench: Connor dressed up as a crab once and made a video about having sex with a hooker who's name was "los cangrejos" and getting crabs.

weast: LMFAO

lord and savior: I'm sorry what

heart of jericho: Markus's nose is bleeding.

weast: I WANT THE VIDEO

hot detective: Conan, please.

bench: Or would you like to recite it for us?

hot detective: .

hot detective: I'm fucking crabby.

weast: HUSBAND PLEASE

weast: DO IT FOR YOUR WIFE

hot detective: I didn't fucking propose yet.

hot detective: I'm crabby,

weast: DOESN'T MATTER

hot detective: DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT OR NO??

weast: LMFAO

hot detective: YEAH.

hot detective: I'm crabby,

hot detective: and you wanna know why??

weast: lmao why??

hot detective: jfc

hot detective: I wanted this to die.

bench: It won't.

weast: I'll show it to our kids 

hot detective: I'm just gonna fucking send the video 

lord and savior: wait, kids????

 ** _hot detective has sent[kill.me.vdj](https://youtu.be/Ob4d7BYsELY)_**  ** _to Jericho is God._**

weast: LMFAO

lord and savior: oh my god.

hot detective: I'm just fucking exposed now, thanks Conan.

bench: You're welcome.

hot detective: Bad enough mom found it.

lord and savior: Mom?

weast: .

heart of jericho: .

bench: .

hot detective: .

weast: weh.

hot detective: north.

weast: wot

hot detective: mcd @4 pm

weast: you can't go in femail bathroom

weast: you'll get charged

hot detective: come in mens

hot detective: youll be fine.

lord and savior: America in a nutshell.

lord and savior: oh yeah

lord and savior: Connor, you're coming over tomorrow.

hot detective: you can come too and witness the proposal 

heart of jericho: Smash that like button.

hot detective: CAN WE HIT ONE BILLION LIKES

weast: PFT YOU HAVE TO DRINK THAT

hot detective: well, the glass is broken, so,

weast: CAN WE GET TEN TRILLION LIKES

weast: RIGHT NOW

weast: CONNOR DROPPED HIS PHONE LMFAO

hot detective: iT CRACKED.

hot detective: CAN WE GET A HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN TRILLION LIKES.

bench: Stop fucking screaming.

heart of jericho: North be stealing your man, Markus.

lord and savior: Simon I stg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was me screaming at my cat.
> 
> His name is Tsuki.


	17. Honeymoon is with Barbie Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: Connor isn't "my man".
> 
> heart of jericho: And my name isn't Simon.

**_weast has sent we're.married.jpg to Jericho is God._ **

heart of jericho: Connor actually proposed??

weast: you fucking bet

weast: It was beautiful.

hot detective: Some other guy witnessed it.

lord and savior: yep.

weast: lmao, he asked if we actually got engaged or if we were joking around

weast: I said "this kid is gay as fuck"

hot detective: thx wife.

weast: no prob hubby

heart of jericho: So, what happened at Markus's house?

weast: I was bored.

weast: I don't like painting 

weast: Connor can play the piano.

weast: Connor fucking rekted Carl at chess lmao.

weast: you never told me you could play piano

hot detective: you never asked.

weast: props of growing up rich, huh?

hot detective: it has it's pros and cons.

lord and savior: you grew up rich?

hot detective: yeah.

lord and savior: I thought you just lived in an orphanage.

hot detective: Oh no,

hot detective: Hank took us in after..

weast: oh shit

weast: Markus, did I leave my ring at your house?

lord and savior: your ring?

weast: yeah, the one with the blue gem.

lord and savior: I can check.

weast: can you please?

lord and savior: Sure, brb.

heart of jericho: Nice 

hot detective: lol.

weast: oh, nvm

weast: it's on my finger.

lord and savior: Fucking dumbass.

weast: lmao sorry

weast: wild goose chase.

weast: anyway,

weast: never going to watch you two paint ever again.

weast: although it was fucking hilarious

heart of jericho: Do I want to know what happened?

weast: obliviousness and cock blocking lmfao

hot detective: I don't know what you're talking about.

weast: course you don't.

weast: y'all know how Trump is building that wall?

heart of jericho: Yeah?

weast: Connor asked why couldn't they just go around the wall.

lord and savior: they can just keep taking planes.

weast: that's what I said.

weast: then Connor fucking said,

weast: hubby, if you would please.

hot detective: Crash the plane into the wall.

heart of jericho: jesus fuck.

weast: Connor, as newlyweds, I propose that we have a sleepover.

hot detective: aight.

hot detective: I take it I'm sleeping on the couch?

weast: what, no, you're sleeping with me.

hot detective: but I want you to be comfortable?

weast: I will be uncomfortable if you do not sleep with me.

heart of jericho: Um..

lord and savior: please, reword that differently for my sanity.

weast: sleep with me.

hot detective: who am I to refuse?

weast: did you just quote a fucking Barbie movie??

hot detective: um...

hot detective: yes?

weast: do you have Barbie movies.

hot detective: Netflix is a thing.

weast: FUCKING YES

hot detective: which one tho?

lord and savior: are you two seriously going to watch a Barbie movie?

weast: are you fucking judging?

lord and savior: continue on.

heart of jericho: Markus wants to watch Barbie movies with Connor.

lord and savior: I never said that.

hot detective: do you want to join us?

weast: no it's just us

weast: we engaged now

weast: it's out night.

lord and savior: you're acting like you're married- which you're not.

weast: WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED.

weast: SUCK MY DICK MARKUS

lord and savior: Disgusting.

hot detective: north, which movie??

weast: um, fuck.

weast: do you have a favorite?

hot detective: Is that really a question?

weast: yes.

hot detective: I didn't watch movies when I was younger.

hot detective: I only watched them because I babysat my neighbors kid.

weast: oh shit..

weast: 12 princesses.

hot detective: nice.

heart of jericho: I like that one.

lord and savior: I liked Rapunzel.

weast: yeah because it fucking had painting in it.

lord and savior: bitch, please.

lord and savior: Yes actually.

weast: fucking see.

weast: okay,

weast: don't bother us on our honeymoon.

weast: see ya cocksuckers.

hot detective: I mean, technically I am a cocksucker, but,

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

weast: LMFAO

heart of jericho: Lmao.

lord and savior: Yeah, so am I.

weast: did I fucking ask?

weast: no.

**_weast has logged off._ **

lord and savior: I feel personally attacked?

heart of jericho: I mean,

heart of jericho: North has, literally and figuratively, taken your man.

lord and savior: Connor isn't "my man".

heart of jericho: And my name isn't Simon.

heart of jericho: But that is true.

heart of jericho: Connor did break up with you because you didn't know Birdos name.

lord and savior: Can you fucking not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wall thing actually happened. I was talking to my friend about it and he was like "they can just continue taking planes" so my dumbass was fucking like "crash the planes into the wall" and he fucking broke lmfao.


	18. C and K

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heart of jericho: You're just saying that because Connor likes her.
> 
> lord and savior: I trust his judgement.
> 
> hot detective: horrible decision, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda has spoilers for the game Catherine and Persona 5. Especially Persona 5. 
> 
> Persona 5 is fucking amazing, play it.

weast: HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

weast: IN JAPAN BIRDO IS KNOWN AS CATHERINE??

hot detective: I thought this was our night?

weast: IT IS BUT CONNOR

weast: FUCKING BIRDO

weast: IS CALLED CATHERINE IN JAPAN.

hot detective: That's such a white name for an Asian country.

heart of jericho: Where did this come from??

weast: I looked up birdo,

lord and savior: What if she just wants to be known as Catherine?

hot detective: what if I'm American but I have a Japanese name in an American country?

lord and savior: I mean, people would obviously be confused,

weast: EXACTLY

weast: BUT WHY FUCKING CATHERINE OF ALL NAMES??

hot detective: Catherine is a game.

weast: OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT

heart of jericho: What Catherine do you prefer?

hot detective: C

weast: K

hot detective: That's only because she used a knife.

weast: Shush.

weast: Why do you like the succubus?

hot detective: Because she's cute.

weast: And Katherine isn't?

hot detective: .

hot detective: I find Catherine cuter.

lord and savior: Catherine Katherine, what's the difference?

weast: Ones a fucking succubus and the other is just there.

lord and savior: Who's who?

hot detective: Cath is the succu, Kath is just there.

lord and savior: Catherine.

heart of jericho: You're just saying that because Connor likes her.

lord and savior: I trust his judgement.

hot detective: horrible decision, really.

weast: one has long hair, glasses, and looks mature 

weast: one has blonde curly hair, blue eyes and looks childish.

weast: one is dressed pretty and the other is dressed as an adult.

weast: and Markus, I know your tastes.

lord and savior: Who's who?

weast: C is childish, K is mature.

weast: Well, that's how they look anyway.

weast: btw there's a new Catherine game?

hot detective: There is?

weast: apparently.

weast: "Full Body" is the name.

lord and savior: okay, 

weast: do you pick k?

lord and savior: that depends on their personalities.

weast: C is bubbly and K is reserved.

weast: Wasn't K pregnant?

hot detective: I honestly don't know it's been like, what? six years since the game came out?

hot detective: six years since I last heard of the game? Lmao.

lord and savior: I guess C.

lord and savior: If both of us were the same I'd probably be tired.

weast: You and Connor are kind of the same.

weast: but I think his personality is eccentric.

hot detective: thx wifey

weast: <3

lord and savior: gross

weast: He fits more as a K just by looking at him, but is a C when you get to know him.

hot detective: It's always the quiet ones that are freaky.

weast: apparent-fucking-ly.

weast: what about persona 5?

hot detective: Don't get me started.

hot detective: on my seventh run, 600+ hours, I'm a boss at the game.

weast: how long did it take you to defeat the final boss the first time?

hot detective: .

hot detective: a day.

weast: lmao.

weast: best girl?

hot detective: Futaba.

heart of jericho: I like Haru.

weast: Haru's sweet, I felt bad for her.

hot detective: Morgana pisses me off in September tho.

hot detective: "oh you should wait for things to calm down before jumping into another place" "ok" "GET INTO THE FUCKING PALACE" "bro, our fucking principal just died"

weast: honestly though.

weast: When I rejected Haru for the first time I felt so fucking bad

hot detective: ^^^^^^

hot detective: that was when I told myself that I was going to go out with Haru next.

heart of jericho: who was the first girl you went out with?

hot detective: Ann.

weast: Ann?

hot detective: I was trying to get to Futaba, but I couldn't max her in time so I went with Ann and fell in love with her.

weast: damn, I got Makoto.

heart of jericho: I got Ann too.

lord and savior: .

hot detective: Markus, come over my house one of these days, I'll let you play persona 5.

lord and savior: Okay.

lord and savior: it's a date.

hot detective: we don't have the exact day we're doing it though.

weast: .

heart of jericho: I can feel the face palm.

lord and savior: whenever you're free.

hot detective: I'll look into it.

weast: he's free everyday.

hot detective: Not when I have class and personal matters to attend to.

weast: oh shit

weast: Simon, Connor

weast: Since you two are gay as fuck

heart of jericho: Not exactly, but, okay

lord and savior: That's a fucking lie, you're gay as hell, I know that first hand

heart of jericho: Shush

hot detective: you were saying??

weast: best guy in P5.

hot detective: Ryuji.

weast: No hesitation.

weast: I didn't take you for the bad boy type.

hot detective: Ryuji is amazing okay

hot detective: I didn't appreciate how he kept cock blocking me.

weast: sounds like someone I know.

hot detective: who?

weast: Simon?

hot detective: Simon's a cock block?

weast: wait, no, simon who's the best boy.

heart of jericho: Morgana, other than September.

hot detective: Markus would like Yusuke.

weast: yeah, he paints

lord and savior: I like him already.

weast: nice nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything Connor has said about P5 is my thoughts.  
> My friend told me that Futaba and I were alike, so I was interested and wanted to date her. Nearing the end of the game I wasn't able to max her out, so I hung out with Ann and ended up dating her. Around a month later in the game I had the option to date her and I felt bad lmfao.
> 
> And when I rejected Haru, I felt so sad. Haru is so sweet, I love her. We don't get enough time with her.
> 
> I wanted to smash Ryuji when I first played. Yusuke is also now my son lmfao.


	19. Finger Slipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: my finger slipped.
> 
> weast: THAT'S SOME FUCKING SLIP

weast: i jUST GOT YOUR MESSAGES

hot detective: What message?

weast: .

hot detective: husband, tell me.

weast: okay,

lord and savior: Wait, husband??

weast: DON'T FALL FOR ANY OF THESE PARTY INVITES.

weast: yeah, I'm his husband.

lord and savior: ???

weast: Valentine's day is in a week

weast: connor what do you want?

hot detective: dick

weast: mood.

lord and savior: I can help with that.

weast: pF

hot detective: u.

lord and savior: my finger slipped.

weast: THAT'S SOME FUCKING SLIP

**_hot detective has kicked lord and savior from the chat._ **

hot detective: my finger slipped.

weast: LMAO

hot detective: I panicked.

hot detective: I didn't think it was actually going to work though.

**_hot detective has added lord and savior to Jericho is God._ **

weast: whoops

lord and savior: Suck a dick.

weast: Connor, come here

hot detective: okay.

lord and savior: WAIT

**_weast has logged off._ **

hot detective: finger slipped

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

lord and savior: WAIT JUST A FUCKING MINUTE-

**_weast has logged on._ **

weast: connor, seriously, what do you want?

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: love and affection, I'll need it.

weast: okay <3

hot detective: <3

**_weast has logged off._ **

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

lord and savior: ????????


	20. Princess Connor and a Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: I'm nobody's man.
> 
> weast: You're my man.
> 
> hot detective: One person's man.

weast: give me a princess.

lord and savior: Vespa.

weast: She's a rip off of Princess Leia tho?

hot detective: She may be a rip off, but she's the best rip off.

lord and savior: ^

weast: great, the gays are conspiring against me.

weast: give me others.

lord and savior: Peach.

hot detective: Rosalina

lord and savior: Daisy.

hot detective: Fiona.

lord and savior: Fiona?

hot detective: I'm breaking up with you.

weast: lmfao

lord and savior: ???¿

weast: Fiona, from Shrek.

lord and savior: Oh,

lord and savior: why do I always get broken up with??

hot detective: Because you're stupid and don't get anything.

lord and savior: We aren't dating though!

hot detective: Not anymore.

lord and savior: we were dating???

hot detective: no.

lord and savior: .

weast: lmao

hot detective: Odette.

weast: The Swan Princess?

hot detective: yeah.

weast: I'm surprised you haven't mentioned Disney princesses.

hot detective: I didn't know if they were allowed.

hot detective: in that case,

hot detective: Snow White

hot detective: Pocahontas.

hot detective: Aurora.

hot detective: Cinderella.

hot detective: Ariel,

hot detective: Anna,

weast: Elsa?

lord and savior: No 

hot detective: wow,

hot detective: Markus says no to Elsa.

hot detective: She's a queen, technically.

weast: Alright.

lord and savior: Merida.

hot detective: Mulan.

lord and savior: Tiana

hot detective: Jasmine.

weast: Why do you know so many??

hot detective: I was a babysitter.

hot detective: I watched my neighbors kid. She was into princesses and stuff.

hot detective: So, I had to sit through multiple princess movies for her 

weast: You're a saint.

hot detective: Zelda.

lord and savior: Why do you need princesses?

weast: just wanted to see how many you know lmao

weast: Connor are you a princess.

hot detective: I don't see why not.

weast: you'd rock being a princess

weast: Connor

hot detective: North.

weast: for our wedding, can you wear the dress?

lord and savior: You two are still on the wedding thing?

lord and savior: Connor isn't wearing a dress.

hot detective: Sure.

lord and savior: what.

hot detective: I can rock a dress

weast: hell yeah.

weast: I call being the husband.

hot detective: Okay 

lord and savior: ?

hot detective: I agree with whatever North says.

hot detective: I'm giving her my life after all.

weast: til death does us part <3

hot detective: <3

lord and savior: Simon.

**_heart of jericho has logged on._ **

heart of jericho: what.

weast: lmao

lord and savior: Are they still going on about this?

heart of jericho: Well, Connor proposed, so yeah.

lord and savior: it was a ring pop.

heart of jericho: If you were to propose to me with a ring pop would you be serious?

lord and savior: of course not.

lord and savior: You'd actually deserve a ring.

weast: Connor I'll get you a ring.

hot detective: thx husband

weast: no prob wife

lord and savior: I.

weast: Poor Markus haha

weast: TAKING YOUR MAN.

hot detective: I'm nobody's man.

weast: You're my man.

hot detective: One person's man.

heart of jericho: I think Connor and North's relationship is cute.

lord and savior: they're not even dating.

heart of jericho: I'm always supportive of Connor.

hot detective: thx mom.

heart of jericho: mom?

weast: you're the mom of Jericho, accept it with Grace.

heart of jericho: Alright.

lord and savior: but Connor keeps breaking up with me.

heart of jericho: He did it again?

weast: lmfao yeah

weast: He didn't know who Fiona was.

heart of jericho: I'm breaking up with you 

hot detective: okay, no, that's my thing.

weast: party @ Connor's house.

hot detective: what

weast: get josh

weast: he's been drowning in his books.

heart of jericho: Aye aye Captian

**_heart of jericho has logged off._ **

weast: Markus, you're driving them.

lord and savior: okay..?

weast: Connor, we're going shopping.

hot detective: shopping?

weast: yes.

weast: GET IN LOSER WE'RE GOING SHOPPING.

**_weast has logged off._ **

hot detective: I don't know if that means I'm driving.

lord and savior: It's not worth denying North, lol

hot detective: Nope

hot detective: See ya Markus

lord and savior: Bye Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, Josh is gonna come back for a bit then disappear again lmfao. Next time will be more jokes and shit


	21. He's Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: Gael.
> 
> weast: Gael?
> 
> hot detective: Gael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fucking dream gave me a good idea and I'm fucking going with it

just Josh: I'm back from the dead.

weast: yeah tf happened with you??

just Josh: Essays and stuff.

hot detective: That sucks.

weast: what was your essay about?

just Josh: some history and stuff.

just Josh: Since I'm trying to be a history teacher and all.

weast: that's understandable

weast: me and Connor are engaged

hot detective: Yeah, I proposed in a McDonald's bathroom.

just Josh: lol, wish I saw it.

weast: Markus recorded it.

just Josh: I'll find him later for it.

just Josh: oh, speaking of history.

just Josh: Remember the Stern stuff going on with CyberLife?

weast: oh, yeah,

just Josh: I decided to dig a bit into the past and talked with a few teachers and stuff.

just Josh: They were two sons.

just Josh: Their names should be Johnathan and Christopher.

weast: huh,

weast: why the sudden interest?

just Josh: To be honest, I thought Connor and Conan were the sons, so I looked into it,

just Josh: Sorry, by the way.

just Josh: but turns out that they're not.

just Josh: There isn't pictures of them though, so I only based it off of the names.

weast: Yeah, I see what you mean.

just Josh: His middle name was Connor though,

hot detective: aye.

just Josh: Lol.

just Josh: There isn't any information on where they are now.

just Josh: But I can only assume the pain they feel about hearing their mother back in business.

just Josh: Especially if the abuse was true.

weast: Oh, Connor do you have a middle name?

hot detective: Michael.

weast: what about Conan?

hot detective: Gael.

weast: Gael?

hot detective: Gael.

weast: Like, hunger games?

hot detective: Conan had his middle name before the Hunger Games was a thing.

just Josh: Oh,

just Josh: Connor, you and Conan are adopted, right?

hot detective: Yes..?

just Josh: Did you two have different names?

hot detective: Not that I can remember.

just Josh: Okay,

just Josh: It's just, some people end up changing the kid's name when they adopt.

hot detective: Yeah, I get that.

weast: Connor Michael Anderson.

weast: Conan Gael Anderson.

just Josh: Do you remember your past last names?

hot detective: No, just Connor and Conan..

weast: Connor, what was the book you wanted me to read?

hot detective: Book..?

weast: yeah, you told me you wanted me to read a book.. what was it?

hot detective: Oh.. that book.

hot detective: um..

hot detective: Lethal White.

hot detective: It's a.. detective book.

hot detective: I think, it's been awhile 

just Josh: I don't know if North would like the book.

weast: I'll like anything Connor suggests.

hot detective: <3

hot detective: .. Thank you, North.

weast: You're welcome.

just Josh: ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> North is the best.
> 
> Everything will be revealed soon.


	22. Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: We've been blessed with such a boi.
> 
> Heart of Jericho: Go be gay somewhere else.

lord and savior: I feel bad for them.

heart of jericho: For who?

lord and savior: Stern's kids 

lord and savior: If they really were getting abused and only to be told that it wasn't true, that'd fucking suck.

heart of jericho: Yeah.

bench: It is unfortunate.

heart of jericho: Hey Conan.

bench: Hello.

lord and savior: What have you been up to?

bench: Covering murders I've committed.

lord and savior: .

heart of jericho: .

bench: I'm joking.

heart of jericho: Oh thank God 

**_heart of jericho has set his name to Heart of Jericho._ **

Heart of Jericho: I had to fix it.

lord and savior: lmao.

bench: I'm surprised that Josh was able to find the names of the sons.

Heart of Jericho: It's interesting, names but no pictures.

bench: It is possible that the police covered it up.

bench: Or the government for that matter.

bench: CyberLife is a big company and a scandal would only hurt the manufacturing.

Heart of Jericho: I do wonder what happened to the twins.

bench: What makes you think they're twins?

Heart of Jericho: North told me her theory.

bench: Oh 

bench: Ooh...

lord and savior: To be honest, I thought you and Connor were the twins too.

lord and savior: With how strange you two were acting and all that.

bench: I'd hate to burst your bubble.

lord and savior: Nah, it's fine.

lord and savior: Speaking of Connor,

lord and savior: He told me he was going to help me with some fucking hell.

Heart of Jericho: Math?

lord and savior: Math 

lord and savior: How that kid can do it is beyond me.

bench: Connor has always been good at math.

lord and savior: Fucking saint

lord and savior: We've been blessed with such a boi.

Heart of Jericho: Go be gay somewhere else.

lord and savior: I'll be fucking gay here.

lord and savior: You love my gay ass.

Heart of Jericho: Gross,

Heart of Jericho: Leave.

lord and savior: lmao

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

Heart of Jericho: Yesh.

Heart of Jericho: Are you okay, Conan?

bench: Yes, perfectly fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all know they Simon knows?
> 
> I'mma fucking spam updates btw, y'all are fucking blessed.


	23. Connor is a Math God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: I hate trig 
> 
> hot detective: I like trig.
> 
> hot detective: SOH CASH TOA is fun
> 
> lord and savior: Are you Satan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spamming is my middle name.

weast: I can't take Markus being gay.

Heart of Jericho: What is he doing?

weast: Constantly giving Connor the Look™

lord and savior: Okay, bitch, look.

lord and savior: Connor is amazing okay.

lord and savior: Anyone who can do math amazes me

lord and savior: And why is that trademarked??

weast: because it's gay.

lord and savior: You're gay.

weast: you know it.

lord and savior: Besides, Connor with curly hair is cute.

hot detective: Thanks.

lord and savior: psg;

weast: Oh yeah, Connor's been lurking.

lord and savior: I can fucking see that.

Heart of Jericho: Lmao, hello Connor.

hot detective: Hey Simon.

Heart of Jericho: How are you?

hot detective: I'm good,

hot detective: My hair is being annoying though.

Heart of Jericho: Son.

Heart of Jericho: Your curly hair is cute.

hot detective: Jesus.

weast: everyone agrees.

**_just Josh has logged on._ **

just Josh: I almost set a toaster on fire 

weast: What the fuck.

just Josh: I don't know what happened, it just almost bursted into flames.

lord and savior: Josh is the last person I'd guess who'd set a house on fire.

just Josh: Okay, listen.

hot detective: I apologise, I'm too hot.

just Josh: Yeah, it was Connor's fault.

lord and savior: I can neither confirm nor deny that.

hot detective: I'm super hot.

lord and savior: I can confirm that.

hot detective: thx you're hot too

lord and savior: thx

weast: Can y'all just fuck already

hot detective: Excuse me.

hot detective: I'm married.

hot detective: TO YOU

weast: do we have children?

hot detective: uh..

hot detective: Josh.

just Josh: wait what.

hot detective: Josh is our kid.

weast: I must've cheated on you then

hot detective: .

lord and savior: lmfao

just Josh: Slightly rude

weast: look, I'm white

weast: Connor is fucking pale as fuck

hot detective: can confirm.

lord and savior: Connor, did Hank change your name?

hot detective: No why do you ask?

lord and savior: I had a friend who was adopted and their name got changed.

hot detective: Oh..

hot detective: Um, no..

hot detective: I was born a Connor. Lol.

lord and savior: aight just checking.

weast: are you doing trig?

hot detective: Yes.

lord and savior: I hate trig.

hot detective: I like trig.

hot detective: SOH CAH TOA is fun.

lord and savior: Are you Satan?

hot detective: I'd like to think so.

weast: Connor, you know you don't have to lie.

weast: everyone here will understand.

hot detective: I know, it's just hard to talk about 

hot detective: Because it's true. It fucking sucks.

weast: I know..

hot detective: okay, you know what.

hot detective: @Conan

hot detective: I need you here.

**_bench has logged on._ **

bench: Yes brother?

hot detective: I don't want to lie.

bench: Are you sure?

bench: You don't have to.

bench: I can always change the subject when it comes to it 

hot detective: No, it's fine.

hot detective: They're our friends and have been for a while.

hot detective: They need to know.

just Josh: It sounds important.

just Josh: You guys don't have to share, really 

just Josh: We know that you two have some kind of issue.

just Josh: We understand.

weast: They'll be fine if they don't know.

Heart of Jericho: Yeah.

hot detective: I know.

hot detective: tbh

hot detective: North and Simon already know..

hot detective: North found out and ended up telling Simon because she needed help.

bench: I'm still thankful that you two have been there for him.

Heart of Jericho: It's nothing, really, I'm upset to see him so broken.

hot detective: I need a bit more time, but I'll just say that Conan and I have a more complicated past than you know. 

weast: Take your time hun, really 

hot detective: Yeah, um, I'm gonna get going and go home.

hot detective: see ya.

weast: Bye honey 

Heart of Jericho: Bye Connor.

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

**_bench has logged off._ **

lord and savior: I'm worried about Connor.

weast: He worries me sometimes..

weast: Markus,

lord and savior: Yeah?

weast: I know how you feel about him,

weast: I've seen you two dance around each other for months

weast: When you two actually get together.

weast: Please take care of him.

weast: He's too fragile and soft.

weast: He deserves the world.

lord and savior: He deserves more than the world, North...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter until Connor reveals.


	24. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: We love you, Connor.
> 
> weast: We love you, Johnathan.

just Josh: There's a press conference with Stern.

weast: I know, I'm watching it..

just Josh: she's.. creepy..

lord and savior: I never liked Amanda.

lord and savior: She gave me the creeps.

Heart of Jericho: I don't blame you.

lord and savior: Imagine being her kid.

weast: Johnathan and Christopher can.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

**_bench has logged on._ **

weast: CONNOR

weast: HONEY IS EVERYTHING OKAY??

Heart of Jericho: ^^^^

Heart of Jericho: Do you guys need us?

bench: I'm not sure to be honest..

lord and savior: What's going on?

just Josh: Oh, she's talking about her kids.

weast: what.

just Josh: "to my sons who I haven't seen in years, mommy misses you, I hope I can reunite with you again"

lord and savior: I would say that it's sweet.

hot detective: oh god...

bench: Connor...

weast: Fucking bitch.

lord and savior: What's going on??

bench: Josh, your..

just Josh: What is it?

bench: This is very hard to say.

bench: It's sensitive information..

bench: Hank knows that it bothers us, which is why he changed our names.

just Josh: your..

lord and savior: .

bench: My name was Christopher.

bench: Connor's name was Johnathan.

lord and savior: Those are nice names.

lord and savior: Why change them?

just Josh: oh...

weast: Markus.

bench: Johnathan Connor Stern..

bench: Christopher Collin Stern.

lord and savior: that

lord and savior: oh...

bench: The court had no proof of abuse,

bench: but Hank could see it 

bench: He saw it in the way we acted

bench: How Connor talked.

bench: How Connor flinched when Hank moved his hand

bench: How Connor accidentally dropped something and immediately was terrified of getting yelled at.

bench: Soon enough, Connor hated just how "Johnathan" was said. And then the press was being to ask about us.

bench: So Hank changed our names and took us in.

bench: Johnathan and Christopher Stern became Connor and Conan Anderson.

bench: Connor has gotten most of.

bench: Stern's anger.

bench: Even today he's still recovering.

bench: Between her suddenly being sweet to her yelling at him

bench: Sometimes he misses her

bench: But he doesn't want to see her.

bench: The name is a trigger.

bench: He gets nightmares.

bench: Hank says he has PTSD.

bench: Hank says he doesn't know why Connor got most of her anger.

hot detective: It's because I'm older..

bench: What?

hot detective: I'm the oldest..

hot detective: She wanted me to take over to company..

hot detective: she wanted me to be the perfect first born son with his younger brother close behind.

hot detective: she ended up calling me pathetic and always brought up how you didn't mess something up.

hot detective: it made me feel bad since I'm supposed to be "perfect"

hot detective: That's why I'm a perfectionist, North.

hot detective: Because I was never perfect enough for her I want things around me to be perfect so I could feel better.

hot detective: I guess it is my fault.

hot detective: I did mess up some things purposely

weast: Don't you fucking start

weast: It is not your fucking fault.

weast: She's a fucking bitch.

hot detective: ..

hot detective: I know.

just Josh: Guys...

lord and savior: Jesus...

Heart of Jericho: Okay.

weast: I'm coming over.

Heart of Jericho: Me too

just Josh: Yeah.

lord and savior: Of fucking course, Jesus Christ.

just Josh: Do you guys even want to be called by your birth names?

hot detective: I don't know.. Connor feels more.. comfortable. Johnathan feels like the reminder of who I couldn't be.

weast: Take your time honey,

weast: If you go back to Johnathan, that's okay.

weast: If you stay as Connor, we'll support you.

weast: We love you, Connor.

weast: We love you, Johnathan.

hot detective: ..

hot detective: I love you guys too..

bench: Thank you..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye
> 
> Conan revealed the truth.
> 
> Markus and Connor will definitely be talking more after this incident.
> 
> North has already mentioned how Markus feels.
> 
> And as for their names, I'm not sure. I feel like that they'd want to forget "Johnathan and Christopher" and be "Connor and Conan." Idk
> 
> Probably stay as Connor and Conan, depends on what you guys want. ;d


	25. V-Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: someone being a certain blue eyes
> 
> hot detective: Unfortunately.

weast: It's Valentine's day 

hot detective: Yes 

weast: How are you, Connor?

hot detective: I'm okay.

weast: You look especially cute today ;d

hot detective: Yes, I was hoping someone would mention it.

weast: someone being a certain blue eyes

hot detective: Unfortunately.

weast: lMAO

weast: HAS HE

hot detective: ...

hot detective: No.

weast: OH MY GOD, CONNOR

hot detective: I'm fucking trying.

hot detective: NOT WORKING.

hot detective: "THANKS THAT MEANS A LOT"

hot detective: JUST FUCKING CALL ME JOHNATHAN THE FRIEND.

hot detective: Connor*

weast: Oh honey...

hot detective: that...

hot detective: Jesus Christ...

weast: have you had a slip up like that before?

hot detective: not recently.

hot detective: of course when I was younger 

hot detective: but it's been on my mind lately so I just kinda slipped up.

weast: it's fine.

weast: Do you want to be called Johnathan?

hot detective: I don't know.

hot detective: Maybe just so I can get over it.

hot detective: I'd still have to think about it.

weast: Okay, 

weast: anyway, do you want me to text him?

hot detective: no, he's too stupid.

weast: but you like him.

hot detective: .

hot detective: but I like him...

weast: awe, you're so cute lmao

hot detective: yeah, yeah,


	26. Dead by Toxic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: I'm gay
> 
> weast: I know.
> 
> lord and savior: thankfully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything about this chapter is what has happened to me.

weast: I'm watching Connor play Dead by Daylight

Heart of Jericho: How's that going?

weast: Pretty well, some good rounds. Killers dcing, campers.

lord and savior: campers should die.

weast: That's what Connor said.

Heart of Jericho: who is he playing as?

weast: Nea.

weast: Another Legion and another person letting him die

hot detective: SMH

hot detective: Bitches be fake.

lord and savior: Damn, that sucks.

hot detective: The Legion is cool tho

weast: yeah.

weast: Connor had a moment with the legion.

hot detective: and I now ship Meg and the Legion.

lord and savior: lmao

hot detective: it was beautiful

Heart of Jericho: what happened?

weast: after constantly juking the shit out of him, the legion got him down and began slugging him

weast: Connor moved over to him and they kept shaking their heads/bodies lmao

hot detective: it was a moment.

weast: Connor can juke nursed and legions pretty well.

hot detective: yeye

hot detective: More Toxic Nea coming at you live.

weast: more like toxic Connor 

hot detective: both.

weast: I ship it 

hot detective: I'm gay.

weast: I know.

lord and savior: thankfully.

hot detective: Nea is best girl.

weast: that's because you have a cosmetic for her

hot detective: still best girl.

hot detective: I'm a Nea main now.

weast: From Meg, to Claudette, now Nea.

hot detective: I wanna be toxic man

weast: from what I've seen that was pretty toxic.

hot detective: I made a huntress dc once

weast: lmaoo

hot detective: can't handle this 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing Dead By Daylight, campers, slugging, legions.
> 
> I'd like to think I did have a moment with that Legion though.


	27. Eggs for Connor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: ONLY EGGS CAN SUSTAIN ME.
> 
> lord and savior: Is this some kind of kink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o, if you're wondering what happened in the last three months of me not uploading this, I will say that I got a boyfriend, we broke up twice, depression, family stuff, all that jazz.

weast: Eggs for Connor

lord and savior: what?

weast: Connor needs eggs

weast: I go buy eggs for Connor

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: ONLY EGGS CAN SUSTAIN ME.

lord and savior: Is this some kind of kink?

hot detective: No you fecking cuck.

lord and savior: North, you've been tainting Connor, I will revoke your privileges of being with him.

weast: I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me.

weast: you can't revoke my privileges, you fecking cuck

weast: Connor is my soulmate.

lord and savior: wait

lord and savior: what?

weast: yes.

weast: go get eggs for Connor and I may reconsider

lord and savior: reconsider what??

weast: GO GET EGGS FOR CONNOR

lord and savior: alright???

hot detective: Do my bidding you peasent.

lord and savior: I never agreed to this kind of friendship.

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **


	28. E g g

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: fuck off with the triangles, they're not important.
> 
> lord and savior: #trianglelivesmatter

**_weast has sent an image to Jericho is God._ **

weast: what is this??

hot detective: The grid of the ancients. 

Heart of Jericho: Looks like grids.

weast: yeah, no shit.

weast: how do I turn it off??

hot detective: you don't.

lord and savior: You're on this triangle now.

weast: Turn off?

hot detective: did you try restarting it

weast: ffs

weast: I'm gonna stab some people.

weast: Twenty eight times.

hot detective: Twenty eight stabwounds,

hot detective: Seems like you don't want to leave them a chance, huh?

weast: I want them dead.

hot detective: Alright.

hot detective: turn on mega marge

weast: mega

weast: marge

hot detective: mega marge

hot detective: why did you turn on this fucking grid

weast: it's cool.

lord and savior: you know which triangle you're in

hot detective: lmao

hot detective: I grow some fear, he must be near.

lord and savior: who's near?

hot detective: my husband where, come home for scare.

hot detective: family night brings a lot of fright.

hot detective: where me love, come from above

lord and savior: alright then

weast: I solved it, the grids are gone.

lord and savior: how are you going to know which triangle you're on then?

weast: fuck off with the triangles, they're not important.

lord and savior: #trianglelivesmatter

weast: mARKUs

lord and savior: yeah?

weast: I NEED YOU TO GO OUT AND BUY EGGS FOR BA RT

lord and savior: I go buy eggs for Bart.

Heart of Jericho: And so the mission begins.

weast: look out for that grid on the floor, it really cuts you up.

weast: Markus got inhaled by the grid.

Heart of Jericho: It wasn't the height that killed him, it was the triangle.

lord and savior: I bring grid.

hot detective: MARKUS

lord and savior: Yes?

hot detective: YOUR WIFE HAS BROUGHT A KNIFE

hot detective: IT IS TIME TO END YOUR LIFE

lord and savior: I didn't agree to this.

weast: Bart has been lost to the grid.

lord and savior: damn.

lord and savior: im not even sad about that.

weast: character arc?

lord and savior: what is my character arc,

lord and savior: connor, i dont have a character arc.

hot detective: I AM YOUR CHARACTER ARC

lord and savior: Alright, please chill.

weast: you better get one

hot detective: BRING ME EGGS

hot detective: ONLY EGGS CAN SUSTAIN ME

lord and savior: And we're back to this.

weast: E G G S  F O R  C O N N O R

lord and savior: I'm gonna say it,

lord and savior: Connor and his eggs can get inhaled by the grid. 

**_weast has kicked lord and savior from the chat._ **

weast: no one can say that.

weast: n o  o n e


	29. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: Johnathan and Christopher...
> 
> hot detective: are a memory that cannot be forgotten,
> 
> hot detective: but Connor and Conan are the beginning

hot detective: hey north?

weast: sup b?

hot detective: you know how you said no matter what I choose, you'd love me and my brother no matter what?

weast: Yes. All of us will.

Heart of Jericho: It goes without saying that we'd still love you.

Heart of Jericho: Regardless of what you choose for your name.

hot detective: Growing up...

hot detective: I was always abused because of everything.

hot detective: Every little child mistake, a work said wrong, a grade off by one, I'd get yelled at and smacked.

hot detective: Every single day, I always wondered why I wasn't good enough for my mother.

hot detective: Why my mother hated me so much 

hot detective: Why "Johnathan" wasn't enough for her.

hot detective: Johnathan might never be enough for her.

weast: Honey....

hot detective: but that doesn't matter.

hot detective: Johnathan is in the past, and he doesn't have to be enough for her

hot detective: And he doesn't have to prove it because he knows it.

weast: Are you going back to Johnathan?

lord and savior: No matter what you pick, we'll stay besides you.

hot detective: Markus,

hot detective: Ever since I told you about everything, you've always been there for me,

hot detective: Almost enough times to rival North.

weast: Excuse me?

hot detective: And...

hot detective: I'm really happy.

hot detective: That you care so much.

hot detective: I'm glad to have friends like you guys,

hot detective: That will always be there for us, and visa versa 

hot detective: that would love us if we are Johnathan and Christopher, or Connor and Conan.

Heart of Jericho: We love you two.

hot detective: I know.

hot detective: Johnathan and Christopher...

hot detective: are a memory that cannot be forgotten,

hot detective: but Connor and Conan are the beginning 

weast: are you...?

hot detective: I'm not going to go by Johnathan, that'll be too painful,

hot detective: Somethings are worth changing to help yourself grow stronger.

weast: I love you Connor.

lord and savior: We all love you

hot detective: thanks guys 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, haven't uploaded this in awhile lmfao sorry
> 
> I'll start the slow romance soon, don't worry ;d
> 
> No one:  
> Me: *writes Mystic Messenger fanfiction*
> 
> LISTEN
> 
> I LOVE V, OKAY??
> 
> HE DESERVES THE WORLD ;_;


	30. Have you ever just looked at the stars?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: do you know sarcasm exists?
> 
> weast: do you know that you can suck my ass?

weast: have u ever just

weast: wanted to look at the stars?

**_lord and savior has logged on._ **

lord and savior: it is four in the morning

lord and savior: go to bed

weast: y r u even up?

lord and savior: y rnt u using proper English?

weast: proper English r 4 suckers

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

hot detective: north plz

weast: Connie! I missed u

hot detective: I missed you too, go to bed

weast: in a bit

weast: y'all

weast: we need to hang out again

lord and savior: sure ig

hot detective: I'm doing something on Sunday

hot detective: how's monday?

weast: sure

weast: wat r u doing?

weast: have a date?

hot detective: I'm going to meet up with Chloe.

hot detective: I haven't seen her in awhile

lord and savior: isn't she the girl you helped? The one Gavin was getting onto?

hot detective: Yeah 

weast: ofc markus remembers

weast: he rmbs everything bout connie

hot detective: are you drunk?

weast: drunk?

weast: no, who would drink at four?

hot detective: you?

weast: may have had a little

hot detective: unlock your door..

weast: aye aye captian

**_Heart of Jericho has logged on._ **

Heart of Jericho: why is everyone so chatting at this time

lord and savior: idk North is drunk

weast: I'm not drunkkk

Heart of Jericho: Spoken like a true drunk person

weast: whatevr

weast: connie has a date!

weast: try not to smash her

hot detective: Surely it would be quite hard to pass up to opportunity.

weast: see!!

lord and savior: north, 

lord and savior: do you know sarcasm exists?

weast: do you know that you can suck my ass?

Heart of Jericho: um, ew?

weast: y'all know how many guys are into that shit?

weast: Markus, you're gay

weast: youre gonna have to eat a guys ass

lord and savior: I may be gay, but I'm not eating his ass, okay

weast: connie is bi

hot detective: I never said that.

weast: you think girls are pretty

hot detective: I'm gay.

weast: uh-huh

hot detective: idk

Heart of Jericho: I'm sure you'll figure yourself out,

Heart of Jericho: You know for sure you like guys right?

hot detective: um.

weast: he likez markuz

hot detective: shut up north

hot detective: Yeah, I like gays

hot detective: guys*

weast: eh, same thinggg

weast: conieee get ovr hereee

hot detective: Yeah, yeah..

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

weast: stealing your man msrkus

lord and savior: he isn't my man, but okay.

**_weast has logged off._ **

Heart of Jericho: but you want him to be.

lord and savior: I never said that.

Heart of Jericho: you never denied it either.

lord and savior: hardy har

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

Heart of Jericho: Connor,

Heart of Jericho: Even if you find out you like girls too, 

Heart of Jericho: our opinion of you won't change

Heart of Jericho: We will always love you, stay by you and support you no matter what ❤️

**_Heart of Jericho has logged off._ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I got an idea.
> 
> And people may or may not be happy with it,
> 
> But I do me, and I actually really want to do it.  
> So I'm going to
> 
> After that, Connor and Markus will finally get fucking together.
> 
> Literally Markus is dropping hints, Connor is like, "Markus, are you flir- hey a butterfly" he's too cute but stupid.  
> Then we know that Markus has been spending more time with Connor,  
> CONNOR HARBORS FEELINGS FOR MARKUS  
> MARKUS IS TRYNA SMASH  
> BUT THEY'RE DUMBASSES
> 
> anyway, if you looked at the tags, yes, something is going to happen and no, no one is cheating 
> 
> At least not Connor.


	31. Parents are annoying, aren't they?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: don't be a dumbass
> 
> hot detective: Yes mom.

Heart of Jericho: so let me get this straight.

weast: you can't get anything straight,

weast: they're both gay as fuck.

Heart of Jericho: North, shut up,

Heart of Jericho: Connor,

hot detective: yes 

Heart of Jericho: You decided that it would be the smartest thing to punch Gavin in the face again?

hot detective: I never said it was the smartest decision.

hot detective: I found it the most satisfying

lord and savior: I think it was fine for Connor to do that 

lord and savior: Gavin was crossing a line, and Connor put him in check.

hot detective: See?

hot detective: Markus thinks it's okay.

lord and savior: Although.

lord and savior: Mr. Anderson, it isn't best to resolve issues by fighting.

hot detective: Maybe not,

hot detective: but Mr. Manfred, if I didn't, it surely would've gotten out of hand 

lord and savior: are you trying to talk your way out of this?

hot detective: ... Is it working?

lord and savior: Haha, no. You aren't getting out of this easily this time.

hot detective: but I have to go meet with Chloe.

lord and savior: ....

weast: seems like Connor can get out of it easily.

lord and savior: fuck, fine, you can go meet Chloe.

hot detective: Thank you.

weast: Remember this Connor,

weast: don't drink too much

weast: don't leave her alone

weast: don't let her leave you alone

weast: do not drive if you had more than three drink,

weast: I don't care if you have a high tolerance

weast: no drunk driving

weast: don't smash anyone

weast: don't be a fucking dumbass

hot detective: Yes, mom.

weast: .

hot detective: I'm fine with it,

weast: Okay, good 

weast: BE.

weast: CA R E F U L

weast: anyone would try to fuck you, you're pretty, be smart

weast: DONR LEAVE YOUR DRINK UNATTENDED

hot detective: North,

hot detective: Calm down.

lord and savior: Connor is a smart guy,

lord and savior: Most of the time,

lord and savior: I'm sure he'll be able to handle himself.

hot detective: Don't come at me with "being smart most of the time" 

hot detective: Who was the one to crash a car?

hot detective: Who was the one to set their brothers hair on fire?

lord and savior: Shut up 

lord and savior: Have fun

Heart of Jericho: Make sure to pay attention to Chloe too, she's a pretty girl, they'd try stuff on her and her drink.

hot detective: I knowwww

weast: oh,

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

weast: fuck

lord and savior: lmao


	32. This is NOT Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love lifes doa
> 
> weast: yOUR LOVE LIFES DOA
> 
> hot detective: why do I feel like that was directed at me?
> 
> Heart of Jericho: Because it was
> 
> weast: it was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to clear and confirm things,
> 
> 1) Simon found out about Connor and Conan. He had his suspicions a bit early on, but didn't want to flat out say anything. North ended up calling him since he's better at dealing with emotions and trauma. His theory was correct, thus, Simon found out.
> 
> 2) How the twins reacted/reacts to the entire abuse. Firstly, I have Conan as more of the robotic type, he doesn't let a lot of emotions show and is bad at humor. He shuts them off and ignores them. Secondly, Connor got most, if not, all of the abuse. Connor is way more emotional than Conan, but he also does just a good of job of hiding how he feels. That is why Conan isn't as phased about Amanda as Connor was. Surely, it does bother Conan, but his fear is that she'd find Connor again and do the same.
> 
> 3) Markus and Connor will most definitely get together, when, I'm not sure lmao, I'm going with the flow for this, and it'll just happen, but someone will get into a relationship sooner than them. Maybe.

Heart of Jericho: Someone take Markus and lock him up please.

lord and savior: you love me

Heart of Jericho: You misunderstand.

weast: wow.

just Josh: What did he do?

Heart of Jericho: He's being annoying.

weast: Markus? Annoying?

just Josh: Never thought I'd see the day come.

Heart of Jericho: It's 8 in the morning, I'm trying to do school stuff, and he's bothering me.

weast: wait, you're studying to be a.. nurse?

Heart of Jericho: Yeah.

weast: Not a doctor?

Heart of Jericho: Maybe, I'm not sure, I'm doing medical stuff though.

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

weast: He's back from his rendezvous

hot detective: We have a problem.

just Josh: oh god...

lord and savior: And North and I are the troublemakers

weast: Shut up Markus

weast: what happened?

hot detective: um...

hot detective: I'm bi.

Heart of Jericho: I don't see how that's a problem? It's good you're discovering yourself.

hot detective: I may or may not have slept with Chloe

weast: ksksndlsjs

Heart of Jericho: .

just Josh: Well fuck man.

lord and savior: oh.

weast: wHAT DID I TELL YOU

hot detective: North, you tell me a lot of things

weast: DO YOY LISTEN???

hot detective: um...

Heart of Jericho: No.

weast: NO

weast: ffs

weast: did you at least use protection???

hot detective: uh

weast: Connor Michael Anderson, I swear to God 

hot detective: Jesus Christ, yes we did

weast: fucking christ

weast: dOES HANK KNOW

hot detective: well, I didn't go home last night.

weast: sigh

lord and savior: why... Did you type that?

weast: shut up Markus

weast: at the very least, you two used a condom.

weast: I was about to smack you if she got pregnant

hot detective: I know I'm stupid but I'm not that stupid.

hot detective: I'd honestly really doubt if she got pregnant.

weast: Ross and Rachel used a condom.

weast: rACHEL GOT PREGNANT

hot detective: tHIS ISN'T FRIENDS

just Josh: Jesus...

Heart of Jericho: So no one told you life was gonna be this way

lord and savior: your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love lifes doa

weast: yOUR LOVE LIFE IS DOA

hot detective: why do I feel like that was directed at me?

Heart of Jericho: Because it was

weast: it was

lord and savior: sigh...

weast: wHy dId yOu tYpE tHaT

lord and savior: Fuck off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to publish this, so I'm doing it at midnight <3 you're welcome


	33. C R E E P E R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot detective: die
> 
> Heart of Jericho: die die
> 
> just Josh: die die
> 
> lord and savior: die

weast:  **c r e e p e r**

lord and savior: what?

weast: shut up Markus

weast:  ** _c r e e p e r_**

just Josh: aw man

Heart of Jericho: Aw man

weast: sO

hot detective: we back in the mine,

lord and savior: Im confused

weast: M A R K U S

Heart of Jericho: Jesus Christ, I'm sending you the lyrics.

lord and savior: Thanks.

weast:  ** _C R E E P E R_**

just Josh: Aw man

weast: SO

hot detective: we back in the mine,

Heart of Jericho: got our pickaxe swinging from side to side,

just Josh: side side to side

lord and savior: This task a grueling one

weast: THIS TASK A GRUELING ONE

Heart of Jericho: hope to find some diamonds tonight

just Josh: night night, diamonds tonight

weast: CUZ BBY TONIGHT

Heart of Jericho: N O R T H

weast: FUCK

hot detective: sigh.

hot detective: Creeper

just Josh: aw man

weast: AW MAN

lord and savior: Aw man

Heart of Jericho: So we back in the mine

hot detective: got our pickaxe swinging from side to side

weast: SIDE SIDE TO SIDE

lord and savior: This task a grueling one

just Josh: hope to find some diamonds tonight

weast: NIGHT NIGHT DIAMONDS TONIGHT

**_bench has logged on._ **

weast: F U C K.

weast: OKAY LISTEN

weast: WE'RE MAKING AN ORDER

weast: IT'LL GO CONNOR, SIMON, JOSH, MARKUS AND ME

hot detective: what about Conan?

weast: HES FINE, LEAVE HIM BE 

bench: I wouldn't want to join your minecraft cult anyway.

hot detective: I'm disowning you.

hot detective: CREEPER

Heart of Jericho: Aw, man

just Josh: So we back in mine

lord and savior: got our pickaxe swinging from side to side

weast: SIDE SIDE TO SIDE

hot detective: This task a grueling one

Heart of Jericho: Hope to find some diamonds tonight

just Josh: Night night, diamonds tonight

lord and savior: Heads up

weast: YOU HEAR A SOUND TURN AROUND A LOOK UP

hot detective: total shock fills your body

Heart of Jericho: Oh no it's you again,

just Josh: I could never forget those eyes eyes eyes

lord and savior: eyes eyes eyes

weast: CUZ BBY TONIGHT THE CREEPERS TRYING TO STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAIN

hot detective: Cause baby tonight

Heart of Jericho: grab your pick, shovel and bolt again

just Josh: and run run until it's done done, until the sun comes up in the morn'

lord and savior: Cause baby tonight, the creepers trying to steal all our stuff again,

weast: JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE SAFE OVERHEAR SOME HISSING FROM RIGHT BEHIND

hot detective: right right behind

Heart of Jericho: That's a nice life you have, shame it's gotta end at this time

just Josh: Time time, time time time

lord and savior:  _ **blows up**_ then your health bar drops, and you could use a 1-up, get inside don't be tardy

weast: SO NOW YOU'RE STUCK IN THERE, HALF A HEART IS LEFT BUT DON'T DIE

hot detective: die

Heart of Jericho: die die

just Josh: die die

lord and savior: die

weast: CUZ BBY TONIGHT

weast: THE CREEPERS TRYING TO STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAIN

hot detective: I think we're done now

lord and savior: Yes, I think that'll be best.

weast: WE WERE SO CLOSE

hot detective: please just spare me lmao

weast: fineee

weast: oh

weast: how's Kara?

hot detective: Kara? She's fine

hot detective: She called me for advice on telling Luther something.

hot detective: Kara is expecting a baby.

weast: GASP

lord and savior: Kara's pregnant?

hot detective: Yeah.

weast: THAT'S WHAT EXPECTING A BABY MEANS YOU DUMBASS

lord and savior: Sigh...

weast: wHy dId yOu tYpE tHaT

lord and savior: North please.

Heart of Jericho: lmao

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara is preg preg net pregpregpreg net 👌👌


	34. Happy Birthday uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just Josh: congrats you're one year closer to death
> 
> weast: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought the 28th would be his birthday because it was the day he was first activated.
> 
> Oh well

weast: JSOSNQSLNDLSJS

just Josh: ?

weast: CONNOR

weast: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

weast: you too Conan

weast: bUT CONNOR

weast: I LOVE YOY BB

hot detective: lmao thanks

bench: thank you for your enthusiastic wishes.

lord and savior: Don't mind her, you know how much she loves Connor 

lord and savior: Happy birthday Conan.

bench: Thank you,

Heart of Jericho: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

just Josh: congrats you're one year closer to death

weast: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSH

weast: CONNOR WE NEED TO CELEBRATE

hot detective: Alright, I'm with Chloe right now, we can go out for dinner?

weast: YES

lord and savior: Why are you with Chloe?

hot detective: she wasn't feeling well.

weast: oh, you're more concerned about why Connor is with Chloe but you don't say happy birthday to him???

lord and savior: kdnsk

lord and savior: I said happy birthday earlier to him

hot detective: Yeah, it's fine

lord and savior: Happy birthday (again) Connor

hot detective: Thank you Markus

weast: CONNOR WE'RE GOING TO YOUR FAVORITE PLACE

hot detective: I'd rather go to Conans

bench: Why is that?

hot detective: Eh, Chloe and I have a craving for it

weast: what are you, pregnant?

hot detective: yes. Yes I am.

lord and savior: well then.

weast: Markus...

lord and savior: what?

lord and savior: oh come on, don't tell me you think I did this?

weast: .

lord and savior: I did not

Heart of Jericho: No matter how much he wants to 

lord and savior: I never said that

weast: you didn't deny it either

hot detective: it's Chloe's baby uwu

weast: oh god

weast: the uwu

lord and savior: it's his birthday let it slide.

bench: uwu

weast: OH GOD

 


	35. Let's not do that North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: if anything, I'll just kill Markus.
> 
> lord and savior: Markus does not agree with this

weast: psst

weast: connor

weast: u ok?

hot detective: yeah, why?

weast: you're blanking out and not listening to Fowler

hot detective: oh, I'm just thinking

weast: penny for your thoughts?

hot: maybe later.

Heart of Jericho: Y'all shouldnt be texting in class, especially you Connor.

weast: don't you have class?

Heart of Jericho: Not until later.

weast: bitch.

lord and savior: be nice.

weast: bE nIcE

bench: someone's on their period.

weast: Conan.

hot detective: oh boy...

weast: I have fought my urges because you're Connor's brother.

weast: but I am so close to murdering you.

hot detective: first assignment I'll get is my own brothers death....

weast: Connor, seriously, what's wrong

hot detective: Nothing's wrong, North

hot detective: don't you think it's a little bit cruel tho? Lmao

hot detective: me having to easily solve my twin brothers death.

weast: maybe

hot detective: spare me the heart ache lmao

weast: Yeah, of course.

weast: if anything, I'll just kill Markus.

lord and savior: Markus does not agree with this 

hot detective: lmao don't kill Markus

weast: listen Connor, I know you like him,

weast: but still

lord and savior: what?

hot detective: well yeah

lord and savior: ?

hot detective: I like all of you, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't like Markus.

lord and savior: Oh..

lord and savior: yeah lol

Heart of Jericho: North, put him out of his misery.

weast: aye aye captain...

weast: mission failed, we'll get em next time


	36. No North, You Don't Have To Murder Anyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lord and savior: whatever you want to do is wrong.
> 
> weast: and why's that?
> 
> Heart of Jericho: because it's related to violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, angst is coming, I can smell it
> 
> Follow my Tumblr y'all, it's in the end notes

weast: I never said it was wrong to do that

lord and savior: whatever you want to do is wrong.

weast: and why's that?

Heart of Jericho: because it's related to violence.

lord and savior: I agree with Simon.

weast: you always agree with Simon.

lord and savior: he's the voice of reason.

weast: no you're just gay for him.

lord and savior: I never said that,

weast: you didn't deny it

lord and savior: I'm denying it now

**_hot detective has logged on._ **

weast: Connor, tell me I'm right 

hot detective: you're right

weast: thank you.

lord and savior: now hold on just a second,

lord and savior: Connor doesn't even know what we're debating about.

weast: he doesn't have to, all he has to know is that I'm right.

hot detective: I see.

weast: what's wrong

lord and savior: What's wrong?

weast: wHO DO I HAVE TO KILL

hot detective: lol, you don't have to kill anyone,

hot detective: it's just..

**_bench has logged on._ **

bench: why is Connor crying

bench: Markus what did you do?

lord and savior: i didn't do anything!

Heart of Jericho: Connor?

weast: IM GONNA MURDER A SLUT

hot detective: No,

hot detective: no one did anything to me

hot detective: it's just

hot detective: Chloe's pregnant..?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT A TUMBLR
> 
> FOLLOW CERULEANTEA
> 
> Now listen, I have a feeling people aren't going to be happy about Chloe being pregnant, but tbh I'm actually excited about it. Besides, her and the pregnancy has a big factor to getting Connor and Markus together.


	37. What If-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: YOU TWO USED PROTECTION
> 
> weast: THIS IS FRIENDS
> 
> weast: FUCK OFF

Heart of Jericho: a-

lord and savior: .

bench: .

weast: WHAT???

weast: YOU TWO USED PROTECTION

weast: THIS IS FRIENDS

weast: FUCK OFF

Heart of Jericho: Wow, uh

Heart of Jericho: Congratulations you two.

hot detective: .. I'm gonna be a dad?

weast: You're gonna be a dad, Connor.

lord and savior: ... I see.

lord and savior: Congrats

hot detective: She

hot detective: I?

hot detective: baby?

weast: Baby.

Heart of Jericho: Connor just blew a fuse

hot detective: Oh my god...

weast: is her being pregnant bad?

hot detective: NO

hot detective: No, not at all, not whatsoever

Heart of Jericho: I see.

hot detective: yeah,

hot detective: It's just,

hot detective: I grew up thinking that I was such a horrible person, that I couldn't be perfect for anything or anyone

hot detective: That I'd never be good enough to be with someone, nonetheless have a family.

hot detective: But Chloe,

hot detective: she's pregnant,

hot detective: and I have this small thought,

hot detective: what if I'm not a good dad?

hot detective: what if they hate me like my mom did?

hot detective: but what she did is way behind me

hot detective: and I'm gonna try to be the best father I can be

weast: Connor ilysm

weast: I WANT TO BE THE AUNT

hot detective: if anything, you'd be the god mother lol

weast: !!!!!

weast: DO YOU GUYS HAVE NAMES???

Heart of Jericho: North, she's like, two weeks pregnant, they'll worry about that later lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor
> 
> I apologize in advance to you.


	38. What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weast: a date?
> 
> hot detective: yes.
> 
> weast: as in you romantically bringing someone out?
> 
> hot detective: yes. The common steps before two people decide to form a relationship together.
> 
> weast: wAIT

weast: so father Connor

weast: how's Chloe?

hot detective: Chloe's doing good. Minus thr whole pregnancy stuff, she's great. Excited even.

weast: aw

hot detective: I'm actually taking her out on a date

weast: wait-

Heart of Jericho: Oh?

lord and savior: oof.

weast: a date?

hot detective: yes.

weast: as in you romantically bringing someone out?

hot detective: yes. The common steps before two people decide to form a relationship together.

weast: wAIT

weast: YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT WITH CHLOE???

weast: LIKE DATING???

hot detective: Maybe...

weast: woah-

hot detective: She is pregnant with my child for one 

weast: let's hope it's not twins xd

hot detective: yeah lol

Heart of Jericho: Her being pregnant with your child doesn't mean you have to force yourself into a relationship with her.

hot detective: I know 

hot detective: but I'm not forcing myself 

hot detective: I wouldn't mind it, honestly.

**_lord and savior has logged off._ **

hot detective: oh I gotta go

hot detective: I have to pick up chloe for our date

weast: dont knock someone else up.

hot detective: yes mom.

**_hot detective has logged off._ **

weast: sigh

weast: well,

weast: none of this is going according to plan, huh?

Heart of Jericho: To be fair, Connor is someone who's unpredictable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Connor and Markus are end game, like I said, Chloe is a main thing on getting the two of them together and embrace their feelings xd


End file.
